GA/TN - October 2019
Sometimes I wonder if travel is the same for everyone else as it is for me. When I explore new places, I open up new parts of myself. I have these moments of quiet which allow my soul to speak more clearly to me. Another phenomenon of travel is that I am blessed with divine encounters, where I see God putting people in my path with a message I’m meant to hear in that exact moment. My little sojourn to the mountains a few weeks ago was no different. I feel led to share a few things I learned from this trip. They are perhaps not completely connected in any other way, except they are all things I’m currently working on. As always, take what you want, and leave what doesn’t serve you.
During my trip one afternoon, I was driving out in the middle of nowhere in Northern Georgia and made a random stop at a historic site. I quickly realized that although intriguing, I really didn’t want to pay for the tour. I used their bathroom and walked around the gift shop for a few minutes before heading back to my car. On the way out, I passed by a rather eccentric woman named Sandy who was probably in her mid-60s. We said hello and somehow in that brief moment, we connected on some deeper level. Part of me was ready to leave but my still small voice told me to hold my horses. I won’t bore you with our entire conversation because honestly, I’m not even sure I could remember all of it. I’m not sure how I got on any of these subjects with a complete stranger, but it was one of those convos where you just go with it.
1. I shared with her how I’ve struggled with self-confidence my whole life. Again, not sure how we ended up on this topic –perhaps because even though she wasn’t a traditionally attractive woman, you could tell she was very secure in herself. She shared with me a technique I knew well. I’ve actually been using it to overcome my fears but never even thought to translate it to developing confidence. It’s really is annoyingly simple. I was honestly a bit irritated that it was right in front of my face and I didn’t see it, but whateves, sometimes we need people to share things with us. So, she said back in her day when she also struggled with her confidence, she just called up God to give her strength. In any moment, you just call upon your higher power – Source, God, the Universe and derive your confidence from it/him/her. You acknowledge that you don’t have to go it alone. You acknowledge that sometimes we don’t have the tools or traits yet that we want to embody in the future. In any moment, you use the strength that is available to us all.
2. When she was raising her daughters, she taught them to divvy any money they obtained into various categories. She said God has always been important to her and she wanted to instill the act of tithing upon them at a young age, so the first 10% was set aside for some kind of charitable contributions. The other area that was of value to her was savings, so another 10% was designated towards that. In that moment, I realized that although I have wanted and intended to do both of those things, I’ve been putting them off for “one day.” See, turns out, building a house and living and breathing and enjoying myself can create quite the expenses and each month I was talking myself out of doing those things. The conversation with her was enough of a bee in my bonnet to impress upon me the need to do these two things ASAP. Even if I feel like I can’t or I think I can use the money to pay off my credit card, or buy a cute shirt, or new toe nail clippers or whatever, from now on I’m allocating those things right off the top. Which also triggered my other lesson I’m learning – faith that the Universe will always provide my financial needs.
The other pearl I took away from this trip was from a dear friend who invited me to crash at her cabin in Hiawassee. During one of our many convos during my stay with her, she pointed out something I’ve known about myself but maybe not to the extent that I was able to see in that moment – I am hyper aware and super hard on myself. Not sure if this is because I was raised by a Virgo, Marine father or because of my rising Capricorn, but whatever the reason I hold myself to these impossible standards. I am a task master, pushing myself to new limits, always striving to be a better version on myself, doing the work, analyzing my “faults” and ways to improve them, seeing how I project my shit onto other people, looking at my beliefs, forgiving others……Get the picture? LOL, it’s kinda constant in my head. It’s not really a conscious pattern but something that has always been my truth. And honestly in a way I’m not only ok with it, but always very thankful for my desire to grow. However, I am reminded that I need to just allow myself to BE sometimes. To BE f**ked up and imperfect, to BE me, to have fun, to run and play and be a goober and to make mistakes and not feel the need to correct or fix every damn moment of the day.
During this lovely time in the mountains, I was again reminded why having people in our lives we can trust and lean on is so key. In our lives, we get so stuck in the stories of our lives that sometimes we need an outside person to see our situation from an objective point of view. Many times, strangers have insights about us because they are not trapped in the emotions and feelings that we get caught up in. They can see all the patterns and beliefs that are pushing us into repeating things we would rather leave far behind us. This is what I am blessed to do as a life coach, offer support and guidance, a loving open ear, a swift kick in the ass when needed (loving of course), my presence, my love and empathy, my humor, my words of encouragement and confidence that you’ve totally got this. And, perhaps the thing that brings me the most joy – sharing my own story if it in any way helps someone going through the same struggle. I figure if one person benefits from all the pain I put myself through, I’m ok with the shit show I went through for a bit.
Love ya’ll bunches. I’m here holding space and love for you whenever you’re ready 😊