Why can’t I play already?

This music in my soul wants to speak

It’s probably your fault

The reason I can’t get it out

Fingers won’t move the way I need them to

Too much inside that needs to come out

Find time for other things I really don’t want to do

It all comes back to you

 

It’s all your fault

I’m sure of it

So much easier than doing it my own way

I feel you all the time

Have to just let it play

 

You didn’t even say goodbye

Guess it wasn’t a thing to you

Not sure what else I want

But to hear you say I was right

You felt it too

 

You said it wasn’t a thing

Then why do I always hear you

I try to run from it, I try to hide

Somehow it always finds it way back to me

​

What will happen if I let go?

Who will hold it all together?

Will I lose myself forever?

​

I feel this void sucking me in,

Offering me the possibility of freedom

​

But some part of me holds back

Is this my ego, afraid to die its final death?

 

I’m almost there, I can feel it.

But doing does not get me closer, it just

Tangles me deeper in the web of lies

 

Surrender, relax, that’s when we

Float, that’s when God supports us

How rude of me, I never said thank you

Thank you for breaking my heart

I really appreciate the way you tore it apart

​

Over and over again I say goodbye

But dreams seem to bring you back to me

I awaken with tears in my eyes

​

I wonder what you think of me, of us

Do you remember the happier times

Then I remember we weren’t even a thing

That’s the part that may always sting

You didn’t even care enough to try

​

Oh, but back to the thank you

You probably did me a favor

It’s the opposite of easy

Why didn’t you at least say goodbye

​

What if’s haunt me sometimes

A life we could have shared

The love we could have made

​

But then I remember the gift you gave

When you left I found me

I was there just waiting

Waiting for me to notice, for me to love

​

Thank you, from me to you

Always and forever,

From my heart to yours

​

You tell me I’m weak,

I’ll never be enough​

Trapped in this maze

Of my own doing

​

I cry out to you

But all you do is mock me

You know my weaknesses

And you prey on them

​

Pointing them out in the light of day

I can’t hide, as much as I try

Because you’re always there

Always waiting in the wings