Updated: Nov 3
As human beings, we are multifaceted creatures. For a long time, I had no idea that I had an inner child that lived inside of me. But once I met her, and started working and connecting with her, my entire life changed. (In a positive way!)
During our formidable years in childhood, no matter how great or challenging our upbringing was, there are going to be holes in what we desired or needed versus what we received from our caretakers. This is no judgment to anyone but is actually a natural part of being raised by flawed human beings. Since none of us are perfect, and since it would be impossible for two people to give a child exactly what they need, 100% of the time, most of us are likely left with parts of us that need further development and nurturing in our adult years.
Take for example, in my own upbringing - I am a person who is very perceptive of others' emotions and thoughts, to the point of not knowing there was a difference between mine and theirs. For years I focused on what others might need and ignored my own emotions and needs. I was a little sponge who absorbed but I was never taught emotional intelligence. As I learned this in my adulthood, it helped me to be in tune with my own emotions, recognize others and have a boundary, and also how to not feel responsible for trying to fix anyone else.
Once I started connecting with my inner child, she gave me all the answers. She showed me long forgotten wounds that just wanted to be felt, seen and acknowledged. With her, I saw needs I didn't even know I had. I saw how she needs safety and acknowledgement and presence and quiet. And the beautiful thing, is that the more I gave her those things, I could actually expand as an adult and a human being in ways I never realized were possible.
After I saw how powerful this work was, I started incorporating inner child work in my coaching and workshops. I resolved to hold safe spaces for clients to meet, great and love their inner child in deeply profound ways. To date, some of the most noticeable transformations I have seen in clients, stem from inner child work which can be quite simple. But as my brother has shared with me, simple does not always equate to easy.
As beautiful as it is, it is not easy to look at these parts of ourselves. It is not easy to ignore the things that can distract us from ourselves. We have been taught to believe that something outside of ourselves is going to bring us the peace and love we all desire. The funny this, is that is it already inside of us. Once we peal back the layers of pain and disappointment, the shadows of what we needed but didn't receive, are released to show us gifts that we never before recognized.
A really easy way to begin to work with your inner child, is just to close your eyes, be silent and listen. It may seem hokey and totally hippy dippy but I promise you, it is one of the most profound things you will do for your healing journey. In this video, I sit with my inner child first and allow whatever she wants to feel to come up in a loving, non-judgmental space. Next, I did some intuitive EFT tapping to talk through what she wanted to share and express. After just a few moments, I was able to go back to my day, feeling lighter and brighter.
It's important to remember, that this is a journey. There will be good days, challenging days, and all varieties in between. But the more you keep at it and connect with your inner child, you will begin to see just how amazing and magnificent you are. And here's a little hint for you - one common thread that all of our inner children want is pretty simple - a safe space to be seen, acknowledged and accepted exactly as they are. So, if you're feeling sad, be sad. If you're feeling like a failure, tell your inner child how proud you are of them. Don't hold back that love and acceptance, the Universe has it in buckets to give. Just allow yourself to receive it!
Love ya! Your Spiritual CFO