My inner voice has been a struggle for most of my life. For a long time, I didn't know where this voice was coming from. Honestly, I was just too focused on trying to make it be quiet that I didn't have the time or awareness to question it. I thought this voice would be quiet once I was perfect. For so many years, I thought something was inherently wrong with me. I thought that others had their shit together in life, love, relationships, you name it. So I pushed and degraded myself, trying to just be good enough. And in many ways, I held myself back.
And then at some point, my eyes were opened and I learned that we all have our own version of this internal voice. Working with clients has further opened my eyes; so many of us think we have to do something to be loved or worthy. We give too much credence to this voice that takes up so much energy and space. The voice that SEEMS so real from day to day. This voice that, at times, can assist us in pushing forward towards uncharted territories. This voice is not all bad.
What I have noticed in my own life is the challenge comes when I am allowing this voice to run rampant. Those seem to be the times it can dump toxic energy into my mind, body and soul. When the voice is unchecked, and we are unaware of what it's doing, it can really become this large mass.
Today in meditation, I was being curious with this internal voice of mine. What it said to me is that it was trying to protect me. And for a long time I kinda understand that. In my younger years, I was very sensitive to the point of lacking emotional intelligence or maturity. However, at the amazing, enlightening age of 44, I have developed a great degree of understanding and being comfortable with emotions, so life doesn't send me into quite the tailspin it used to. The voice was protecting me by keeping me from being too seen, from putting myself out there too much, from making perceived mistakes, and I'm sure other things. But I guess one of the overall results is that it kept me in somewhat of an emotional cocoon. If I didn't put myself out there, people couldn't make fun of me. If I didn't open myself to love, I couldn't be hurt by others.
To be honest, I'm not sure if we ever completely get rid of this voice. I know that part of it is the bigger collective energy, and I am an eternal opptomsit, so I have hope. Maybe someday it will completely be obliterated and all that will remain is rainbows and unicorns. But for now, we need to learn to work with this voice and stop letting it rule our life.
Spirit is having me share this message because likely there is some area of your life that is calling for greater expansion and growth. An area that you feel afraid to move forward in. Something that you desire but also something that could feel so scary and big. So, yea, the inner voice may be trying to protect you. And that's fine, USE it for what it is. Be practical in the areas you need to be. Make sure you are dotting your I's and crossing your T's. But , DO NOT allow it to hold you back. Know that your dreams, passion and purpose are so much bigger than that voice.
I invite you to take that thing that has been wanting to move in your life and sit with it. Based on the oracle card I pulled from the Doreen Virtue deck, Daily Guidance from your Angels, I'd say that owning a business could be in your field. If that doesn't resonate with you, notice the flame that the angel has, this is def a passion project of some sort. So, be curious about how you can take one step towards this goal or desire.
Allow yourself to feel the feelings that come up along the way. Allow yourself to be logical and organized when the situation calls for it. But please remember, you are the co-creator with the Universe. You are capable and you are loved and guided and protected. Stop putting things off, and go out and be the damn magical unicorn that you are.
Shine on y'all,
Robin Your Spiritual CFO