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Understanding how to give....

SEVA or selfless service has shown me so much about myself and others, and how we operate moving through the world. Oftentimes, we think that someone who gives is such a wonderful, caring person. And, I’m not disagreeing with that, but what I realized over the weekend through looking at my own motivation for giving is that giving can stem from two different places.

1) Giving from an abundant heart-centered space means having our own internal resources met first. This giving is provided with no strings attached, no expectations, and complete trust that our own needs are also being met (because we allow them to be by being open to receiving).

2) Giving from a sense of obligation, feeling like you don’t have a purpose unless you are giving, martyrdom, lack and conditions. Conditions on giving are oftentimes given subconsciously without either party being aware of what they are. I.E - I did this for you, means you are obligated to do this other thing for me.

Giving and receiving from these two places and spaces feels VASTLY different in our bodies, minds, and hearts. Because we are energetic beings, these unspoken requests affect how we feel about our interactions with others and our expectations of their actions.

When giving, I try to make sure I do these things first

a) make sure my own cup is full

b) allow others to make requests of me for what they need and desire

c) if I’m not sure, I ask the person

d) I check myself to make sure my giving is coming from an aligned space

So, this isn’t to say that you can no longer do nice things for people, but I would just check in with yourself along the way. This is especially true during the holidays when people feel soooo obligated to do and give things. If resentment starts to creep in or you find yourself doing something because you feel like it’s expected of you, make sure to check in with yourself to see if it’s something you really want to give.

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