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For most of my life I didn’t even know wtf a boundary was, let alone how to set it or enforce it with someone. As a codependent empath, I thought it was my duty to make sure everyone else was emotionally comfortable. Even when I did recognize someone was bad for me, I found myself judging my feelings instead of recognizing the discernment my soul was trying to make on my behalf. I constantly allowed people to control my world. I felt like I was at the whim of everyone else in my life. I found it difficult to be with other people, not realizing I had social anxiety for several years. I just felt so damn much, and I didn’t know why or what to do with it. In large groups of people, I would find myself feeling insecure and inadequate. I didn’t know how sensitive I was or what it meant. In hindsight, a lot of the time, I was just absorbing everyone else’s shit and then taking the energy on as my own. For many of us empaths, we haven’t been taught how to master our sensitivity. We find ourselves being pulled into everyone else’s shit show and not understanding why we can’t protect ourselves. One of my early realizations was that my main coping mechanism in relationships was to focus on everyone else’s energy and feelings to control the environment and my own subsequent response. I really thought if I was able to manage other people’s experiences, I would feel better. Right, makes sense. Make everyone around me feel better and I’ll feel better. For example - If my boyfriend feels like shit, I don’t want him to feel like shit. And I REALLY don’t want to feel him feeling like shit, so I’ll pay attention to his energy. Then I will twist myself inside out trying to give him what I think he needs to alleviate his suffering. Welcome to codependent city. This played out in my day to day interactions and a ton in my love life. Since I was in this karmic pattern, I would only allow men into my life who also could offer the other half of this energetic equation. The problem with this dynamic is that I became so hyper focused on everyone else, I never paid attention to how I was feeling. I would come to know that people don’t want or need us to manage their shit for them. On some level, the people we are trying to manage become resentful of our well-intended assistance. It doesn’t do anyone any good to be in this cycle. But I thought trying to fix everyone else’s pain was my responsibility. In the past, a lot of what has been taught to help empaths revolves around blocking energy or placing yourself in a protective energetic bubble. For a variety of reasons, this is not the greatest long-term strategy. 1) You can spend a lot of your energy trying to push things out that are MEANT to come to you and despite your best efforts, will still come into your sphere. 2) If you are successful at blocking energy, that means you’re keeping EVERYTHING out. 3) It’s not a lot of fun to focus on what you don’t want. And we all know that what we resist persists, so the more you try to keep them out, they are prolly still gonna come on in. Let me offer you a new way to manage your energy. 1) Observe, don’t absorb. Start consciously observing others energy. You can see it and feel it without absorbing it. Do little training exercises where you go into public and sit on a bench and watch the mini soap operas of life unfolding around you. Just watch the energy dynamics. Begin to consciously make the choice that you will not absorb them anymore. 2) Clear your energy. Clear your energy. And when you’re not sure, clear your energy. Have a consistent easy way to clear your energy, anytime, anywhere. When I used to absorb so much energy, I couldn’t make the smallest decisions. I would get super anxious and feel so ungrounded, I literally couldn’t focus or remember what helped me in those moments. Having one or two easy methods in your back pocket takes the guess work out of it in the moment. Some of my favorites are: a) Setting the intention to clear my energy. Yep, it really is that easy. Energy flows where attention goes. b) Getting out into nature c) Shaking or moving my body d) Taking a shower e) Stopping and breathing for 5 (seconds, breaths, minutes) f) Going for a walk g) Make your energy field bigger through consistent energy practices like yoga, qigong, or tai chi. 3) How big can I get? We all have an energy field. When we are in an imbalanced state, in an effort to feel less, we actually shrink our field. This is to our detriment; we end up feeling more of others energy instead of less. Imagine a field of light around yourself. If the field is only a foot around you, you’re going to allow more of other’s energy into your field. If your field is 4 feet, less low vibrational experiences will come into your world. At first, this sounds similar to the bubble effect, but the focus is much different. Instead of focusing on keeping people out, we are going to focus on clearing, increasing, and expanding our energy. When we utilize this new approach, what will naturally happen is a beautiful thing. When people come into our energetic sphere, our vibe is so high that we’re more likely to set a boundary for someone who doesn’t feel good. Over time, the karmic cycle will be completed because the Universe will see we don’t need the lesson anymore. The reason we keep getting those assholes that push our buttons and boundaries, is because our soul wants us to heal that shadow of our personality. We receive that lesson until we take repetitive physical actions to change the energy pattern. Over time a new dynamic is created. We have all had this happen at some point in our lives. Look back on something you were able to change in the past. You had the opportunity come up over and over, and you choose a different action each time until the new skill (karmic pattern) became ingrained in your awareness. I know sometimes it can feel overwhelming and scary and impossible, but I promise you, with consistent effort and awareness you can switch this pattern. Find other empaths and HSP to share your experiences and struggles with. But be careful of getting stuck in the victim mentality. Gripe about things in order to process your feelings, but then focus on moving forward and improving your coping skills. You are not a victim, and this is not a curse. Once you start to own your gifts (yes, I said gifts) of sensitivity, your life expands in the most amazing ways. Love ya’ll.

A lot of us are afraid of our own anger. That emotion that can lead us to do horrific things. The energy just under the surface, fearful if we really let it out, we would do something that would hurt someone we care about. So, we stuff it down. We live with it day in, and day out. We avoid setting boundaries or telling someone no. God forbid if we state what our needs are. But anger is actually a really healthy emotion, especially after we learn how to feel it in a healthy way. My relationship with anger has changed quite a bit over the years. Phase 1 – I was born into this lifetime with my empathic sensitivities. But, I was dropped into a family dynamic that did not embrace these traits. The only emotion that was really accepted in my youth was anger. So, I took that shit and I ran with it. I took the anger of my family and I amplified it. I took the anger of my upbringing and made it my own. I lived on the edge of just snapping for decades. I was pissed off by everyone and everything. I was annoyed by people, bosses, friends, and partners. I had no idea how to deal with my emotions or what my triggers were, so I oftentimes found myself acting in ways I had zero control over. I hated this about myself. When I would snap, it would feel good for a moment to finally stand up for myself and say how I was really feeling. In a way I felt powerful to rip someone a new one. But then the guilt and shame would kick in. I would ask myself over and over again what was wrong with me that I couldn’t control my shit. Phase 2 – I started my spiritual journey. Yoga, mediation and my healing journey helped me to process a TON of old crap. This allowed me to be calmer, more focused, happier and less annoyed by life. I developed healthier boundaries and stopped taking on the negative energy of others. I started loving myself more and putting up with less from people who weren’t able to treat me well. In general, I was just bothered less and less by things. I really was happy most of the time. But then when I did get angry, I started down Shame Blvd. again. I was spiritual now, how could I possibly be angry? Phase 3 – Balance. As in all other things, we must find balance. That happy medium that doesn’t force us to be one thing all the time. Yes, even if you are spiritual, you are still “allowed” to get angry. You are allowed to be a nice person and be annoyed, frustrated or downright pissed off. Even if the reason seems stupid to someone else. I still have my triggers (although they hold less and less power over me). I can still have crummy boundaries when I’m tired that don’t allow me to separate someone else feelings from my own. But I feel much better now, recognizing and processing anger. I honor my feelings. I honor anger as the indicator it’s meant to be. Anger is an important emotion that tells us many things. 1. When our boundaries are being crossed or pushed 2. When we need to take action 3. It can show us patterns of expectation that we have in our relationships 4. It can show us where we need to vacate a situation that isn’t good for us anymore 5. where we need to focus on forgiving someone or ourselves for past mistakes Learning to process your anger in a healthy way is the answer, not shutting it down completely. You are not a douche for getting triggered. You are not an asshole for getting mad at the guy who cut you off in traffic. We are responsible for our actions when we are angry, but trying to close it off actually makes it worse. When you shut off one emotion, you shut them all off to a degree. Until you learn to accept, integrate and heal anger, you may never truly be able to feel the full level of joy that is possible. We are human beings and we are meant to experience all emotions. Perhaps at some point in our evolution, we will be past all that, but for now, it is here. Learn to deal with it. Learn to process it and let that shit go. But please, do not let it stay inside of you, robbing your joy. As someone who did it for many years, it just ain’t worth it. And I promise you, it’s so much sunnier on the other side. Love ya’ll. Robin

I LOVE to eat. I love the aromas, the flavors, the textures in my mouth. I love trying new foods. I love tapas style meals where I can try lots of different things. I am one of those people that moans and groans while they are eating food, savoring the flavors and the experience. I don’t drink a lot these days but every now and again I like to cut lose and drink a ton and stuff my face. You know, the typical way that most of us deal with stress, a bad day, or a celebration. I used to be that person who made fun of people with dietary restrictions. Vegans, dairy free, vegetarians, gluten-free, paleo – you name it, I could make fun of them. I would say, “oh just shut up and eat a hamburger”. For a long time, part of my previous judgment is that I didn’t understand why you would willingly cut out an entire food group from your eating options. And it also annoyed me that they seemed to be so vocal about it. Being one of six kids, and someone who has always tried to not inconvenience anyone, it seemed like a giant PITA if you wanted to go anywhere or do anything. For a person who loves to eat, it sounded downright stupid. Why you would go out of your way to eat completely different than most normal folk. However, as of late, my body is currently going through a transition that is leaving me seriously looking at ALL the foods I put in it. As I've cleaned up my diet more and more, my body is demanding a certain level of quality go into it. I now find myself on the verge of becoming one of those people and I can’t say that I’m embracing the change all too well. In my youth, I was a chubby kid with the shittiest of eating habits. Back then, no one was eating healthy in my neck of the woods. Especially since we were a low to middle class family in the south. My favs were fast food, soda, candy, sweet tea, and fried chicken. For years, I ate the lowest vibe food known to man. I had ZERO idea what healthy nutrition was. I just knew that I felt like shit pretty much all of the time. I would feel guilty about my eating habits. I would judge the way I felt, how my body looked and my energy. I had zero idea how much food affects us physically, mentally and spiritually. We literally are what we eat. Looking back, I see some major markers for what I am experiencing now in my life. As a baby, I had pretty bad colic that would leave me crying most of the time. In an effort to soothe me, my dad would put beer in my bottle. I only have the slightest twitch as a result 😊. I discovered recently colic in infants can be a sign of food sensitivities. In high school I started to have horrible stomach pains. My mom took me to a shit ton of doctors with no resolution or solution. During these years, I was putting uber pressure on myself in school. On top of that, my dad up and left one day which may have left some major scars on my psyche. In my twenties, I started drinking coffee when a friend told me it could help with the chronic constipation I had back then. Over the past four years, as I’ve raised my vibration and cleared old emotional wounds, I have also been cleansing my body. I have been doing yoga and cleanses and cupping and acupuncture and the like. In the moment, I had no idea what I was doing. Instead, I was intuitively guided without knowing or asking what the end result would be or the long-lasting effects. I can look back now and see these cleanses helped me to be more in touch with my body and also to purge old emotions and patterns that were ready to go. They have culminated into a version of me that is much more loving, understanding, open and compassionate. My body feels better, my brain is clearer and I’m happier. For the most part. But for the last year or so, my body ain’t happy about something. I have found myself with some odd issues of late: Emotional side effects - At times, I am filled with rage, frustration, anxiety and annoyance. Life’s smallest setbacks threatening to send me over the proverbial edge. I feel enraged for absolutely no reason. I have to stop in the middle of my day and beat a pillow with drumsticks or scream at the top of my lungs. Simple annoyances of life that usually don’t bother me, result in me feeling like I want to punch a hole through the wall, or worse, someone’s face. I literally want to jump up and down like a 3-year-old who is not getting her way. I can’t focus or decide, each choice looming over me like it’s the end of the world. Some days, even the simplest of choices is like a complex math equation that I haven’t been given the knowledge to solve. Physical side effects – I wake up with a sore throat, and sniffles. My head hurts. I eat and immediately have these god-awful pains in my stomach. Left side, right side, constipation, diarrhea (just like one of those uber annoying stomach commercials). I ate some store-bought bean hummus the other day and immediately my stomach started to feel like I was being punched on the right side and my face and ears swelled up. I felt completely helpless and annoyed. Really???? I can’t even eat quicky hummus anymore!!!!!!!!!????? And perhaps the other thing that threw me over the edge this week….my period. I had one of the most excruciating periods I’ve had in a long time. Why, you ask? Well, what did I do the night before I got my period? I ate chocolate cake and steak and red wine because I was craving all the things during PMS. I have started to notice a SERIOUS upswing in the symptoms when sugar and gluten are combined. The next day when I woke up with my period, I thought I had been hit by a truck- I couldn’t move or do shit for most of the day. To be completely honest with you, I’ve done lots of cleanses but probably not for the prescribed amount of time. If the cleanse was seven days, I might go four. I tried to honor my body and where I was, knowing I was still getting the benefits I needed. But I was always fearful of what would come up if I went the full gamut. For a hot minute, I have been finding myself on the verge of completing a 21-day cleanse. I will start it and then stop four or five days into it -BECAUSE IT’S HARD. It’s a doozy for realsies. No dairy, no caffeine, no meat, no processed foods, no alcohol and no sugar. I think that about covers it. The idea is to reset your system and then slowly add back in certain food groups. So, I can eat carrots and lettuce for 21 days straight. (Not really, but I like to exaggerate sometimes). Should be nice and easy right? But we all know there are many reasons we eat - overeating from stress, under-eating from stress, eating for joy, eating for comfort, eating because I’m sad, I’m happy, I’m at a party, or my favorite -I like to eat FOOOOODDD. I keep telling myself, I have will power. I’ve done hard things. But there are a few problems. 1) I eat for many other reasons other than nourishing my body. 2) Very few people eat this way, so for 21 days I’ll have to eat mostly from home, which somehow equals no fun to me 3) I know that because of number 1, I will have some major emotional shit come up with this cleanse. I won’t be able to use food to escape in the way I’ve done in the past. I mean, I’m sure carrots will not provide me the same emotional satisfaction that chocolate or chips will 4) I will now be THAT person. The one that can’t be easy going anymore. The one that can’t just eat the damn food on the table at a party. For the rest of my life, I’ll be asking people for a list of ingredients for every food I put into my mouth. I’m annoying myself already. I know it needs to be done. I know my body and soul are changing in ways I cannot see or understand with my puny human brain. I know this is the next stage of my growth. I know my body will continue to revolt and scream out if I continue to put crap into it. I know I need to continue to break my family’s addiction of food and alcohol even if only by a millimeter. I will make progress, bit by bit, until I am in complete control of what goes into my body. I am sure of my success and so it is :) Much love ya’ll, Robin

Christmas is a beautiful, magical time of the year. But ever since I was a kid, I felt like it was a little off. As an empath, I would see and feel things about the entire situation that didn’t seem to be an issue for other people. I saw people getting their feelings for various reasons. I saw people going into debt to buy things because they felt an obligation or felt like they HAD to give gifts. I saw so many rules and guidelines about how we should act, give and receive. Even more so, I saw just how much commercialism is involved in what is supposed to be a celebration of Jesus’s birth. Like, where the **ck did Santa even come into the picture? And what about our desire to spend so much darn money on things that people probably don’t want, need or will use for a minute and then lose interest. There have got to be some ways we can bring some consciousness into Christmas, gift giving and showing others that we care for them. Here’s some of my random thoughts. Maybe together, we can create a holiday that feels a bit more mindful 😊 1) Remember, first and foremost, even if someone chooses to not buy you a gift, it does not mean they love you any less. 2) Perhaps look around your house and regift some items to friends and loved ones. Make it fun by doing a gift exchange with a theme. 3) Do a secret Santa with your family, friends or co-workers. 4) Spend some money or time volunteering or giving back where you can. Show your kids the importance of helping those in need. 5) Instead of buying a bunch of material things, give gift cards to local service-related businesses. 6) Spend money and/or time giving someone an experience. 7) Cook a rad meal for someone you love. 8) Give a homemade gift certificate for your time (massage, energy work, yard work,etc). And, by all means, if none of this resonates with you and you wanna keep on, keeping on, you do you. There is no wrong. There are only ever choices. Do what makes you feel all ooey gooey on the inside. I ain’t here to judge, just offering some other suggestions. After all, life is all about choice. Love ya’ll and ho, ho, ho! Robin

When we are the recipient of someone’s perceived jerky actions, there is always an emotional reason behind their actions and our response to them. Most of the time, it is fear. The challenge is that since it is also mirroring back to us things we need to work on, we are often triggered. Right away, we want to step into victim mode. When we get triggered, our natural response is to respond in kind, from a place of anger and/or fear. Below is how I work through things on my own and also with my clients. By learning how to pause, process your emotions and discuss what your truth is, your relationships will greatly be improved. Trust me, if my once hot-headed ass can do it, so can you. 1) Take a deep breath. Don’t respond. That’s right, close the laptop or the phone, physically walk away from the person, place and/or situation and take a break. Do something physical if you are angry to transmute the energy. 2) Journal or process what the situation is triggering in you. Get clear on what you are feeling, be pissy if you need to. Go ahead, be petty and be a jerk, let it all out. Play the victim, and gripe about what a jerk the other person is. Go balls to the walls. Burn it when you’re done. Nobody wants that energy floating around or even worse, the other person to find it 😊 3) If you need additional time to process, talk to a trusted friend about the situation, STILL be pissy if you need to. Schedule time with them and let them know what the conversation is about so they are prepared and can hold space for you. Tell them thank you when you’re done. Write down any additional insights that come to you. Try not to talk to a BUNCH of people about it. As a Gemini, I can still be guilty of this because a lot of how I process is verbally. But when we talk about the situation with an intention other than healing, all we’re doing is spreading the ill will. Most of the time, our motivation is to get people to support our side and tell us we’re right. It takes a real kinda friend to call you on your **it. 4) By this point, the emotional charge should be gone on your end. If it’s not, do some more processing. Be like that nineties song and start back at one. 5) Send love, compassion, and positivity to the situation. Envision what you want the relationship to look like in the future after you move past this challenge. 6) Talk to the person about your feelings. If you feel like talking would not be a good idea, considering the current state of energy, write an email or note to them with an offer to discuss further. Make sure the energy is compassionate, loving and the focus is about explaining your feelings and your perception. Do not blame or accuse. Reread it before you send it. Maybe even wait to send it, just to be sure your energy is coming from the desire to resolve and not escalate. I can’t tell you how many times in my past this would have saved me. 7) Surrender it to God, knowing that all will be healed. Ask for assistance to see the situation or person differently. Ask if you can learn any additional insights from the situation. Say thank you and release it like a little love (proverbial) letter into the sky. I am not even kidding, if I am able to do this, you can too. I used to be so quick to react in the moment, many times putting my entire foot in my mouth. I am not perfect though, so now maybe it’s just a pinky toe. We learn in baby steps, so it’s good to give ourselves grace and space for where we are. You wouldn’t expect your 5-year-old to know the same stuff your 10-year-old does. Funnily enough, we are like the little ones when we are triggered, so my analogy ain’t that far off. Know that we will continue to do better as we know better. Some of you may be asking yourself, “I’ve taken the high road with ole’ Tom-Bob and he still is acting the same way.” Yea, that can still be a thing sometimes. As we begin to learn and grow, sometimes we will stop resonating with certain people, places and situations. 1) Know that this is normal. Don’t judge yourself for having discernment. The two feel worlds apart though, so make sure you’re clear on where you energetically stand. A great book if you’re struggling with this is, “Judgment Detox” by Gabby Bernstein. 2) Try to reduce the amount of time you have to interact with the person. 3) Every time you do interact with the person, make sure you are feeling your best. Send lots of love to them, you and the situation. Above all else – remember, we are all doing our best. Everyone is good at their core, even if their triggers are making them giant a-holes in the moment. Love ya’ll bunches.

Much of how I am made up as a person and the lessons I’m meant to learn in this lifetime have to do with the duality of being a human. I see both sides of things. I waffle in decision making, infrequently feeling like I’ve made the “right” choice until after the experience has played out and I’ve seen some piece of evidence that confirms my path. Most of the time, my Gemini ass is all over the place, anxiety ruling the day. Trying to map out each choice in my head before I ever really jump in completely. Compound that with other aspects of my personality and the additional fact that I am currently in a personal year of 11 or 2 in numerology, and you will begin to see why I can’t even pick what I want to wear some days, let alone a partner or a job. In numerology, the number 2 vibration is all about choice and decision making. Allow me to share with you my discovery thus far in this intense year. JUST PICK SOMETHING, DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!! LOL, but seriously……in our culture and society of 8 million choices, the biggest dilemma is that we never really choose. We will date multiples, we will half-ass it at work or in our many other endeavors. In short, we fear failure, hurt or disappointment if we give our all to something and it fails. But what exactly is failure? The ending of something? The outcome not looking how we imagined it to be? Not necessarily. If we experience something and give it our all, that is enough. The Universe is not results driven. It doesn’t care if you get married to that guy or date for a few months. The Universe sees the progress and the growth from the scene that is playing out. Time is the great illusion; our souls live on and on for centuries. If we don’t experience something to its satisfaction this lifetime, guess what!??? We’ll get to repeat it next go around. But also, simply surviving an experience or situation is enough. Each time we live through an experience, we learn and we grow. But if we never really commit, we are just going through the motions, and end up not really enjoying ourselves. Instead, our brain is trying to negotiate and manipulate to help us in avoiding pain. We miss out on the full experience because we’re not in the present moment. And, I’ve got news for you sugarplum– Life is filed pain and suffering, much of which is our own doing. It’s not really the experience or the other person that brings the pain but instead our own thoughts, fears, beliefs and hang-ups that create the most angst in our lives. It boils down to trusting yourself enough to make a decision, your ability to stick with it and to move forward to the next opportunity. To wish the other party the very best and to leave them feeling good about the interaction and the experience. Why do we need to make the other person the bad guy? We can also find ourselves not moving on quickly enough because we’re afraid we won’t find anything better. Many of us stay in situations that don’t fully resonate with us, because we don’t think there is anything better for us on the horizon. Making a choice and deciding requires that you love yourself enough to move away from things that don’t fulfill you. The Universe rewards us when we take the leap of faith and leave spaces in our lives to be filled. Think of it this way, you’re not gonna get your dream relationship until you LOVINGLY release the guy or gal who is taking up that energetic space in this moment. Holding on to them out of fear is not fair to you or them. Trust that you can handle the empty spaces. Trust that you can trust your decisions. Trust that the U has your back. Loves ya’ll!

Up until about 36, my whole life had led me to be this one version of myself. I was overly critical of myself and others, I was ALL up in my head, I was afraid of love and life in general. Then my life as I knew it slowly started to crumble around me. Well, maybe it should be more aptly described as a bomb going off. I went through so many different iterations of my energy from day to day that I started to wonder if I even knew who I was anymore. During my mid-life crisis (aka dark knight of the soul or as traditional psychology calls it, a nervous breakdown), I found myself not really knowing who I was anymore. For almost 4 years, I found old beliefs, wounds and judgments coming up for healing in the most dramatic ways possible. It became really hard to interact with people. I found myself naturally in hibernation mode, trying to heal from the many wounds that were being laid wide open. But I also found God stripping away most of the things that made me comfortable or that I had once identified myself with. This meant that jobs, friends, living arrangements were in constant flux with many of these things changing multiple times. As I’ve emerged as this much healthier, more loving and calmer version of myself, the packaging looks a bit different. Like, I’m still into all the things I was before but now I’m less attached to those things. I’m still into self-growth and expansion. But I’m also more open, and freer than I’ve ever been. I am also into things that some traditional sects consider to be “out there”. Yea, I talk about angels and my 3rd eye and meditation and yoni’s and tantra and all the stuff I am in love with right now. I wake up every day excited to help others and to find greater joy in my own life. These are the things that sing to my soul. It absolutely lights me up to do an oracle or tarot reading for someone or an energy session for healing. I also get my jollies off by talking astrology or the akashic records with my friends. But I was also faced with the ugly truth that sometimes people can’t support us in our growth. See, it can make people uncomfortable when we change. It can make them feel like they don’t know us anymore. These changes tend to bring up certain judgements people have about religion and God and what’s considered normal. At times, I notice the sideway glances people give me. The incredulous look, as if to ask, “has she lost her mind?” I’m not gonna lie, sometimes stepping out of the box and into who you REALLY are is challenging. Part of me just wants to tell you to have a “fuck em” kind of attitude, to not give a shit about what the naysayers have to say. But the truth is, we are wired to care about what others think of us – especially those people we really care about. I know sometimes it can be scary AF to be yourself. It’s terrifying to become a new version of you, stripped naked of societal conditioning. I know we are all afraid of that one thing, that we swear once someone knew our secret, they would leave us or not accept us. And I will always be honest with you, this may be the case. You may come out of the proverbial closet to be the real you and it may be too much for some people. They may leave. But I promise you, the pain of not being who you were born to be is more painful. If you keep people near you by being someone other than your authentic self, you will forever resent them and yourself. You will slowly die inside each and every day. One way to make this journey easier is to find that group of other weirdos that gets you. I have been blessed to have a few close, ride or die friends, and to be a part of various spiritual groups that have steadily lifted my soul. More recently, I’ve found myself in the most beautiful healing circle of women. The growth I have experienced in a few short months has been miraculous. I have healed trust and vulnerability wounds I didn’t know existed anymore. I have committed to making time for me every day. I have developed healthier boundaries and self-care techniques. Perhaps most importantly, I have another space where I can just be me – warts, scars, imperfections and all……and I am still loved, held and appreciated. Thank you sisters. So, my friends, I hope that you all find your tribe. Your people, your connections that make your heart sing. I pray you uncover more of who you are every damn day. I pray you step into the REAL, authentic you. Remember – God does not make mistakes. You are perfect and whole and deserve to be loved in so many ways. I promise – your people are out there. The first step is to believe you deserve to be loved. Please let me serve as that reminder :) Much peace my friends. Robin

So, I found out today that an ex got married recently. You, know THE ex. The ex that we all have. The one we think about periodically and wonder what went wrong. The ex we still have some tiny sliver of hope towards. The one that broke our heart so deeply and completely, we wondered how we would put it back together again. That ex. And, at first, I did what we all do. I had this brief moment of throwing shade on him and his Mrs. because I was jealous and hurt. You know, the petty bullshit we’ve all done, and think is normal. Like, I hope they get divorced and aren’t happy. I hope I’m “better”, prettier, and smarter than she is. I hope he thinks about me all the time. After a nano-second of that shit I stopped. Why the **ck would I wish any of those things on someone I love? Yes, I do still love this person. Yes, it is normal to always love a man or woman that you shared a part of your soul with. That’s what love is; sharing your soul with another human being. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s unhealthy or abnormal to still love a past love. It is normal and ok to care. But we are all taught by society, our friends and loved ones that when we hear of other’s love or success and we feel some kinda way about it, we should instantly wish them ill will. Yea, I ain’t about that life. If we saw what this did energetically, I guarantee you we’d stop this shit in an instant. Throwing shade on someone is literally like sending negative, low-vibe energy their way. Words, thoughts and feelings have energy and power behind them. By me sending that energy their way, I could very well disrupt the energy and happiness of their life together. If I love this person, I should (and do) want him to be happy. If that means that it’s with someone else, then I have to throw my big girl panties on and really let him go completely. But I will do so in my way. So…..I pray that we both move on towards our respective futures. I pray for him and his wife and send so much love their way. I pray that they will laugh and love together, I pray they will have a healthy, happy family. I pray they will trust and honor and care for another. This is the shade I chose to throw. A bright, beautiful shade of prosperity, abundance, laughter and love. Best wishes, good luck and so much love to you both.

My dad was a difficult man. He expected perfection in most of what we did. He didn’t offer much in the way of emotional codling or support. He could be harsh and angry. He was also an alcoholic, covering up his own hurts in the only way he knew how. He could be unforgiving and unyielding. For a long time, this is all I saw in him. I always thought my dad was a jerk, but also in an odd way put him on a pedestal. I also took for granted that he would always be there. When he left when I was 16, my whole world was crushed. Perhaps I didn’t even realize it at the time, but a small part of me died that day. He left just like he was going out for the day. For 25 years this has shaped the relationships I have with the opposite sex. I would constantly attract men who would leave me so I could heal this part of me. I would attract men who were unavailable emotionally, subconsciously believing if I could make them love me, it would provide the male acceptance I wanted so badly. I very deeply believed if I had love and acceptance from a man, I would be good enough. In order for me to move forward on my path, this dynamic had to be seriously shaken. So, about four years ago, the Universe ripped this wound gaping open. In a very short period of about six months, my dad died, my ex-husband left, and I fell in love with a new man who then also left. The pain I felt during the process of healing this wound left me feeling like I might die from the sheer force of it. It was as if all the feelings I had stuffed away were laid open for me to deal with at once. It was a part of me I really didn’t understand. Where did this dependency come from? For the most part I was very independent and felt like I didn’t NEED a man. But our shadow side can be a bit elusive. During my awakening, I saw that while I didn’t need a man for many types of support, I believed I needed his approval. I believed I need emotional support from a man. I believed I needed a man to validate me and love me to have worth. Although I never actually felt like I got any of these things from a man, I thought that once I did, all would be well. During this time of healing, I would come to learn the concept of soul contracts. In a soul contract, your soul and another agree to play certain parts for each other in a designated lifetime to produce growth in an area. It is an experience that is done at a higher level from your souls with a loving intention, with both of your highest good in mind. I came to believe and know that my dad, and all the men who had left me, were giving me a huge gift. Without their leaving, I never would have integrated and released that wound. During this time, I was able to learn to validate myself. I began to love every part of myself, “good” and “bad”. I forgave my less desirable character traits. I developed healthy emotional support for myself. I began to take other’s actions less personally, seeing that we are all doing the best we can. I forgave, I loved, I released, I embraced, and I integrated these parts of me. I opened the power of my own soul, allowing my own internal masculine energy to step up in a loving and accepting way. Today, I have a great relationship with my dad. Yes, even though he is physically not on this Earth anymore, I talk with him often. I feel his energy and spirit with me when I feel like I’m sucking at life. He’s there, cheering me on. I believe this is what he wanted to do while he was here but just didn’t know how to. Now, I am able to feel and accept his love. I see him for the man he was at his core. Often, he will come to me as a bright red cardinal offering confirmation that I’m on the right path at other times, it’s just a feeling. Although I am immensely grateful for this connection, I do regret my stubbornness when he was alive. Instead of loving my dad for the man he was, I was constantly wanting him to be different. I noticed all the things I thought he did wrong, never really acknowledging the things he did out of love. I didn’t fully appreciate the time he spent with me or the ways he did try to show his love. This weekend brought a realization to me. Although I’ve forgiven him, I haven’t extended this to myself. I could see where my dad had been doing his best, simply passing down what he was also taught. Somehow this grace was harder to give to me. I told myself, “I should have known; I should have acted differently”. On this Father’s Day I take this opportunity to release this. I release this judgment. I release this pattern of not feeling good enough because I made mistakes. I release my own internal critic and instead invite the self-loving energy of acceptance. By doing so, I pray that I give you the space and awareness to do this for yourself. I know we all have mistakes we’ve made that we feel like we can’t take back or change. Things we did or said in the heat of the moment that cannot be undone. Hurt that cannot be taken back. Know that you are not a bad person. Know that you did the best you could in that moment. You’re freaking fabulous and it’s time to let that shit go. Happy Father’s Day ya’ll. Love you bunches.

It’s moments like these I’m thankful I don’t have cable or pay attention to the news. And yet, even without direct access to any news outlets, I’m still being inundated with the corona freak-out. I hear of people stocking up on supposed essentials like toilet paper and hand sanitizer. I’ve directly encountered people who won’t even engage in a friendly handshake for fear of a mass pandemic. On a more personal level, my plans have been canceled, rearranged, and I’m getting lots of emails and info about precautions. And yet, surrounded by all of this fear, I find myself at peace and mostly unaffected by it all. I’ve had friends ask me how I’ve been able to maintain a calm and cool demeanor about it all. The first thing that has kept me off the ledge of toilet paper insanity, is that I prefer to live my life by the very basic laws of the Universe whenever I can. One of these laws, is that what we place our energy and attention on will grow. For example, oddly enough, fighting against a cause like racism or war actually just feeds it with more energy. I’m sure we’ve all seen history or perhaps firsthand experiences where a peaceful gathering has turned into a shit show. Both sides fueled by their own belief they are right, drives people to act in ridiculous ways. Instead of reducing the cause, we just add fuel to the fire. The best way to fight something is to first remove yourself from it as much as possible and then send love, light and positive energy to the situation. This concept is also true of any fear-based thoughts we are holding onto; which includes Corona. This freak out all boils down to the fact that people are afraid of dying or being sick. And, I get it, that can be a pretty big fear. Not so great for us, media tends to feed off our fears. For me, stepping outside of the fear-based paradigm that our society is driven by has been the first step towards my own personal freedom. Our society is so driven by the fear machine that most of us don’t even see it until we take a step outside of it. When we disengage from media, we begin to see how much of what we’re told is blown way out of proportion to the actual reality of what’s occurring. Like, it’s kind of ironic to me that the media tells us that we’re all gonna catch it and die if we shake someone’s hand but at the same time will tell us to pile into stores to stock up on “necessities”. Yet another reason I avoid the media, because when I do hear it, it pisses me off because logically it doesn’t make a bit of sense. Fear is an emotion like any other and when triggered can cause us to act in irrational ways. The other big thing that has kept me calm and unaffected is my trust in a higher power. Some call it God, the Universe, angles, nature, or any other name you can come up with – even Bob is cool. I have this deep belief that everything is happening as it should and for my highest good. I really do, know and trust that 1) if I did catch Corona, it was meant to be and 2) one way or another, I would be fine. Yes, even if I died from it, I understand and trust that was my path and my destiny. I know that life creates and destroys when it’s appropriate to do so. And the big key here - my worrying and stressing about it does not stop it. However, fear does make me crazy and also can attract the very thing I’m trying to avoid. I know I'm partially making light of the situation, but this is another way I deal. Laughter really is the best medicine most of the time. I do understand there are certain people with compromised immune systems that should take extra precautions. And I will continue to send prayers and light to those affected by the virus and pray that people are safe. However, I DO NOT send more fear to the situation. What I do DO is try to be a kind, compassionate ear for those who are worried or stressed. When all my plans got canceled over the weekend, I continued my life as I normally would. I was able to spend much more time outside, allowing nature to heal my mind, body and soul. When I went to Publix to do my regular grocery shopping for items I actually needed, I was dancing and singing. I had an older woman who previously looked stressed and scared, look up and smile at me. She commented on how happy I was. This is what heals. A kind word, a smile, engagement and interaction – especially with our older people who are probably pretty freaked the f**k out over this whole thing. Go out there and allow yourself to be the light in someone's day, allowing them to see that all is good and well. And what the hell, maybe grab a Corona to chill a bit – you deserve it! If you are having a rough time of it, that's what I'm here for! One on one sessions can really help you to recognize, explore and release these and any other fears. Hit me up for a session if you need some extra lovin'.

Tonight, I was entering dance class, and was singing and dancing as I usually do….bee bopping my way around the world. I didn’t really pay too much attention when I heard some guy behind me copying my noises. But I did surely notice him when he followed me into the studio. He was a middle-aged drunk man, disheveled and dirty, not standing too firmly. He first inquired about using the phone. When he was denied, then it seemed like he was going to share his life story with us. With only four women and no men in the studio, I could feel the slight sense of fear and alertness of the others. Normally I would walk right in and drop off my things in the back. But I felt like there was strength in numbers and decided to stay up front. Thankfully, the owner handled his rantings quite well, with a strong, confident and firm manner. She asked him to leave and he finally met this request after a few more awkward moments. All was well during class, but just to be safe we locked the door. By the time class ended, I had kinda forgotten about him. That didn’t last too long. We opened the door laughing and he responded completely irrationally and threatened to come after us. Perhaps he assumed the laughter was directed at him? My first reaction was to run to the car and then I was like “f**k it, I’m not running anywhere, esp not from this dude”. As we walked closer to our cars, I turned around to keep an eye on him and flipped out the key on my fob just to be safe. I’m not sure if our confident stances stopped him or he decided it wasn’t worth the energy, but after a moment he ended up sitting back down in the doorway of a nearby store. Even though I had this internal dialogue with myself where I determined it wasn’t necessary for me to run, I was still shaken. When I sat in my car, I could feel the fear still rising up in me. After a few moments, the adrenaline settling down a bit now that I was in a safer space. Sitting there I could also feel the anger, the irritation that he started to make me doubt myself. In a matter of moments, I started to play the what if game. What if I hadn’t been singing? What if I had paid more attention to who I was attracting in my space? What if we hadn’t been laughing when we walked outside? What if, what if, what if. I can probably speak for most women when I say that at some point in our lives, we’ve felt unsafe around a man. This can come from many different situations, whether you know the person or not. Sometimes it’s on a date with someone who is a little too handsy and/or aggressive. Or it can come from a stranger in a parking lot who just gives you the heebee jeebees. And I’m also sure I can speak for most of us when I say that we start to question our actions in these encounters. We start to wonder if somehow, we caused an attack, aggression or harassment because of our actions. This was a somewhat minor situation, but I still had all those fears and doubts get triggered. I felt the automatic reaction of wanting to pull back my energy and not be me for fear of attracting unsavory characters in the future. I felt like I somehow could have controlled or avoided the encounter if only I wasn’t “too flirty, too out there, or dressed too sexy.” These are all things we’ve heard or considered when evaluating an attack. We hear it in the media, in the news, in courtrooms and by water coolers – “she had it coming”, “she was too promiscuous”, “she was dressed too sexy”, “she was too drunk”, or “she let it go too far.” Women – I am here to remind you that your body and space is always your own. NEVER is it ok for a man to touch you if you don’t want him to. NEVER is it ok for a man to make a woman feel unsafe to make himself feel more powerful. NEVER is it ok for society to tell you how to dress or present yourself. Yes, you can be sexy, flirty, drunk and have lots of partners. You can have and do all these things and still expect to be respected and treated like a lady. I’d like to say that this kind of judgment only comes from men but sadly we ladies also know that we judge other women in this way. We all know where we’ve implied or outright said someone deserved being mistreated because of how she was dressed or behaving. It’s important we teach our children how to handle themselves in these situations. It’s important to never blame the victim, to never imply that anything differently could have been done to prevent the situation. And please, if you’ve had a situation that has made you shut down in any way, reach out to an experienced counselor or therapist. It was not your fault; you are beautiful and worthy and I respect and love you. As women, we are meant to be light, fun, and vibrant. Please don’t let anything or anyone take that gift away from you. Much love and light ladies <)

During my house sitting adventure in a ritzy golf course community, I got in trouble for my morning walk. The house I’m watching sits in a newer area of the neighborhood. When I found a little path in the woods, I was excited to explore. After a bit, I found myself on a golf course pathway. I didn’t think much of it because I thought it was too new to be used by anyone. About 45 minutes into it, I was abruptly snapped out of my morning ponderings by a gang of ladies in golf carts. They were not to happy with me being on the path. One of them (the ringleader I would suppose) asked me not so nicely to turn around and walk against traffic instead of going with it in the direction I was headed. I calmly informed her that I needed to go the way I was headed. The gang sped off into the path, none of them looking at me or even attempting to be nice about it. I found it rather funny, so I laughed for a bit; still my current way of coping with people snubbing me. Which for me is huge progress because the old me would have told her not so nicely to take a long walk off a short pier. #babysteps After I gained my composure, I remembered something that was shared with me recently. Someone had picked up on the fact that I can be stubborn and dig my heals in, especially if someone tells me to do something. This is nothing new to me. However, she shared that it might be a good idea to try to break out of this pattern a bit. So, curious of what I might find, I turned myself around and started walking the other direction. Well, I found some more unpleasant, unhappy lady golfers that saw me on the path, and wouldn’t even look in my direction. Instead they also sped off, gripping about me. I heard one of the women say, “can you believe that?”, indicating my alleged stupidity for walking on THEIR path. Again, I laughed and waved good morning. They of course, ignored me. So many times, we are mean to people because we assume we know the source of their actions. If they had stopped to ask me, they might have understood my view. I could have explained that I meant no harm. In fact, I just didn’t realize there would be golfers on MY path, right? Like I could have been just as pissy that these brightly colored mean women were intruding on my lovely quiet walking path. We could have taken it as an opportunity to share and talk for a minute and develop some intimacy with one another. Instead, they were so pissed off that I dared walk on their path that they didn’t even wonder why I might be there. I heard one of them say some snarky comment about me getting hit with a golf ball. The funny thing is, I wasn’t worried about it even one little bit. First, I trusted God to look out for me. I trusted the ladies to know their sport and to keep their balls on the green and I trusted my intuition enough to know that I would sense any danger. And perhaps the biggest knowing of all that I tapped into – if I did get hit with the ball, it would be something that was meant to happen. It would ultimately be a lesson for all parties involved. We all develop and create these stories around other’s actions. So often, we assume we are in the right and the other party is wrong. We condemn people without a drop of compassion or sense of understanding that we are all just trying to make it through this crazy life. What if we took even just a minute to understand where someone else was coming from? What if we allowed others to be where they are and not assume everything is about us? We would start to change the world one step at a time. We would begin to acknowledge that not everyone’s path is the same as ours. We would see that another’s actions are directed by their own set understanding at that moment. I know there is someone in your life that you’re judging right now. We all are. Today, take a few minutes and try to see if you could come up for a different reason for their actions than the angle you’ve been assuming. For example, if someone doesn’t call me back I could assume there is something wrong with me. In reality, they could be out of town, in the hospital or just not a match for me. These little steps can really help us gain more peace and understanding in our lives.