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Sometimes our greatest strengths can also be our greatest challenges. For me, this comes by way of my almost lifelong pattern of needing to be uber independent and not feel like I need anyone else's help. I'm sure there are lots of reasons for this old belief, maybe something I partially inherited from my parents or perhaps just because I am hard wired that way, but I do know it was showing up very strongly and affecting me in huge ways. As I started to uncover this pattern, I found some deeply held beliefs that kept me from allowing myself to be supported. These are some of the gems that showed up..... 1) If I needed help, I wasn't doing enough 2) I couldn't trust people to help me 3) I didn't have needs 4) I didn't deserve to be supported 5) I was putting others out by asking for help or relying on them 6) and plenty of other shit based on ancestral trauma and patterns, I'm sure :) Anyway, as I started healing my relationships with others, I realized that by not recognizing my needs and allowing others to support me, I was doing a disservice not only to myself but also to those who love me. As people, it feels good to show up in service to those we love. We feel lit up, important, and valued as we give. Signs you are not allowing yourself to be supported 1) you never take time for yourself, or you do so only after you check on everyone else 2) you feel resentful or unappreciated 3) you often feel tired, and burned out 4) you go out of your way to do most things yourself If this sounds like you and you would actually like to begin to receive the love and support from your friends, family, other loved ones, but also the Universe, it's simple but maybe not easy. I promise with intention, humility and repetition you will become a pro at recognizing your needs, using your voice to ask for them and then allowing yourself to receive said support. 1) pay attention to small needs you have that feel like low hanging fruit. When we are creating a new habit, it can be important to start small and build consistency. For example, start to notice how you would rather kill yourself balancing 8 million things in your hands while you use your foot to open a door. You know I'm talking to you right now. 2) Notice how you feel as you recognize the need. Does it feel like something simple for you to work on? Something that is a low-triggering item for me is going to be a high-trigger item for someone else. Pick that small easy thing first. If someone says no or is not able to help you, you don't want to re-trigger yourself and give your ego proof as to why you never ask for help. 3) Practice on your own first or with someone you trust. This could look like asking your sweet ole grandpa to get the door for you. Or perhaps you still hold all of the shit in your hands, but you imagine that you asked someone to get the door. Strangers can also be easier sometimes than asking someone close to you. Again, you know yourself and you know your sensitive points. Take the easiest route, especially in the beginning. 4) Do this activity over and over again until you feel strong, confident and secure in the recognition of the need, the voicing of it, and the receiving of said assistance. 5) Hit me up and tell me how it worked for you! I hope you begin to heal this very isolating pattern in your life. I promise it feels so good to be supported and to notice all the people in your life that love and appreicate you. You deserve it, you are worthy, you are loved. Peace out, Robin. Spiritual CFO in da house

#chiron #chironintaurus #ballroomdancing #sexuality #trauma #innerchildhealing #scarcity #abundnace #surrender #ayahuasca Some of you know that the past year I have taken a deep dive on healing some of my deepest wounds. Much of this healing has been facilitated by the Ayahuasca ceremony I did in June. Since then, I’ve been really working on the physical integration piece of it. As I’ve been going through this, it has also been trippy to SEE and feel and understand firsthand just how accurate and spot on astrology is. But I am also so very thankful for the gift of understanding my challenges at a deeper level. Let me see if I can break down the astrology bit and not make it overly complicated :) The energy that is being activated for is my 5th house of creativity and sexuality in Taurus (food, pleasure). In this house, I have Venus (feminine energy, body), Chiron (the wound, which for me was neglect) and Mars (masculine energy). With Chiron in the mix, it means that I am meant to heal these energies and then bring forth assistance to others who are struggling with the same dynamics. There is also some other energy at play but for those of you not into astrology, I’ll save you the additional information and reading. Suffice it to say, that the past few years have brought up a lot of opportunity to finally feel, heal and move past this wound. To put all of this into English, the way that this wounding has shown up for me in real time and in real life, is as follows: *Not trusting or feeling safe of the masculine *Not allowing myself to have needs or to allow myself to receive or to be supported *Being abandoned by myself and others, especially men *Only finding myself valuable if I was succeeding or making money *Deep judgement and feelings of inadequacy around my body *Codependency with substances and people *Wounding around my sexual energy *Hella scarcity wounds *Restriction of my creativity *My inherent sense of value and worth *Not getting to play or be creative when I was a kid One of the main catalysts for healing and integration has been ballroom dancing. This has been really new for me, since I didn’t have creative hobbies during childhood or really most of my life. I felt like I sucked at everything other than being the responsible, smart kid, who read a lot, and did well in school. For many years, I channeled most of my energy into achieving. About 5 years ago, a healer told me that I would really benefit from dancing. I put it off for a while because it didn't really seem like it was related but I love to dance so I eventually signed up for some lessons. Even though my first instructor was gay, I was pretty nervous about being so close to him physically. My whole life, I had felt like I wasn't safe around men. Much of this has been a mystery to me because I don't have any memory of being sexually assaulted. But every time we would dance, I felt this deep anxiety in my body. It was really tough for me to have my body pressed up against a man that intimately. During this period, I also got the opportunity to dance with other men at the parties or classes. And let me tell you, it was WAY worse. I would have anxiety over getting it "wrong", I felt fearful that in some way, the men would not honor or respect me. But I loved it, so I kept pushing forward. The other challenge that dance brought up for me, is that most of my life I had been trying to do everything independent of a man. Kind of challenging since the men are typically the leaders in dancing. Being in my feminine, surrendering energy was not exactly my strong suit as a recovering control enthusiast. So, again this brought up another level of faith and surrender in my body. See, you can logically tell me that it’s safe and it’s just dancing. But every time I step onto the dance floor and decide to acquiesce to a man’s power and control, my body is fighting against decades of feeling deep down at a cellular level, that it is not safe to trust men. Because I didn’t feel completely safe, I held back my full energy. I was holding back just a little bit in hopes that I wouldn’t be hurt again. Of course, this theme was also playing out in my dating life. The story stored in my cells was – men are not safe, they cannot be trusted, they will take advantage of you, use you, they will ignore your needs, they will treat you like shit, they will leave and break your heart. After a bit of a break, I was led to a different studio with a different instructor. In a lot of ways, it felt like I was starting over. It also seemed like the Universe was amping up my personal growth and healing. This instructor was not gay, but he is married so that continued to offer a small amount of reassurance in my mind and body. But at this point, I had advanced in my skills, so we are doing steps that put us into closer physical proximity with one another. I also decided I wanted to learn Bachata, which really pushes the sexual energy and physical closeness. Again, I found myself dancing, being triggered, healing and having so much damn fun that I couldn’t stop even when I really wanted to. But Y'all, I'm not gonna lie. It has been hard, and I have had LOTS of emotional breakdowns. I have wanted to quit so many times during these months. The first major argument my ego tells me over and over again that I can’t afford it. (As part of this healing segment, I got to quit my corporate gig and my main source of income last year.) The other “proof” my ego gives me that I should quit - that it’s not something that I can do right, I’m not good enough, I’m being irresponsible, what am I accomplishing by spending all this time and money on this hobby, blahhh, blahhh, etc, etc. There are just so many shit stories my ego tends to have for me. Honestly, I still continue to be SHOCKED at how much our journey, wounding and healing can show up in a symbolic vehicle such as dancing. I really had no idea when I started this path, where it would lead me. Although so much of this is hard for me to share, I was reminded today that my healing helps others when I share. I’m reminded that there are so many people out there struggling with the same things, thinking they are alone and that something is wrong with them. But I am here to tell you it is all worth it. It feels so good to progress and get good at something that you really struggled with. It is nice to feel safe around men. It is really nice to be more confident in my body and my sexuality. It is good to trust that God is providing financially for me, even when it feels like a stretch. And shit, it is just FUN!!!!!!!!!! My other point is to remind you that so often, healing doesn’t really make sense and it is for sure not a linear, logical path. I had zero clue when I followed spirit’s nudge a few years ago that dancing could be such a big deal in my life. So, if you have been getting the nudge to do something, what the hell are you waiting for? This is definitely your BIG ASS sign. I promise, you are not getting any younger. Enjoy life, heal and experience some damn pleasure already. Much love y’all. Robin

The reason that many of us don’t have what we want from life is because we are chasing someone else’s dreams. We have been conditioned through many different ways to think that bigger houses, fancy cars, big parties or alcohol and drugs will help us to fill that inner aching inside. But I’m sure you’ve all had the experience where you got the thing that you wanted, and then it didn’t really change anything in your life. Lots of times, it actually brought more emotional pain and suffering because of what you forced yourself to do in order to get there. Let’s say, you thought the bigger house would satisfy that deep internal longing. But after you got the house, you realized you didn’t really make enough money to support the expenses that went along with owning that house. Maybe you started to work more or dream about an even bigger house that would again fill that hole for a moment in time. Each time we use that external thing to try to fill the void, it might for a moment, and then our energy recalibrates, and we try to fill it once more with something or someone else. During this cycle, the hole may even get bigger inside. It was ironic to me when I started my spiritual coaching business how my own internal drive shifted. For a while, I thought I couldn’t love money or want nice things because I was spiritual now. After some time, I realized it was ok to be a human being and want an Audi and a house to live in, while also wanting to help the collective and serve others. As my social media page changed from a personal account to a business account, I began to see more spiritual coaches in my feed. A lot of them seemed to be embodying the old paradigm of the bigger, better hustle that had just been copied over into the spiritual world. Dozens of coaches and posts online bragging about “multiple six figures” and $10k months. It all started to feel a little off to me. I started to ask myself, what is actually driving us to want millions of dollars, even though spirituality teaches us to find pleasure, abundance and worth from inside instead of being caught up in the matrix of consumerism. For me, I realized I actually really desire a few basic things in life. now, don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t mean that I also still don’t want money and success, but DEFINITELY not at the expense of my sanity, relationships, health and freedom. My definition of an abundant life looks like, (in no particular order) 1) Serving others doing what I love 2) Ballroom dancing more and more until I get AMAZING at it 3) Getting paid to travel 4) A healthy, happy family 5) A relationship with my divine partner who is healthy and hot! 6) Lots of laugher, play and passion 7) Safety, security, simplicity, and freedom to do what I want, when I want 8) Supportive community 9) Comfortable home and a car I love that is reliable and fun to drive with minimal impact on the earth 10) Financial abundance so I can donate my time, money and resources to make this world a better place 11) Time for all the things I love - nature, riding my bike, adventures, skateboarding, etc. 12) Trusting in my intuition and the universe 110% Now, if your list looks much different than mine and you want the big house and the 12 luxury cars, go do your thing. But I would also invite you to spend some time checking in with yourself and seeing if those are REALLY the things you are searching for. Perhaps the 3,600 square foot house has restricted you from traveling as often as you would like. Or maybe the 60k car has locked you into 1k a month in gas expenses that are kinda out of hand. If your desires are out of alignment with your energy and your truth, it won’t take very long for you to have some serious health issues while your nervous system and energetic body are trying to maintain this life that you have created. More does not always equal better. And not matter what it is that you want, one of the fastest ways to get there is to appreciate what you have in this now moment. If you have $5 in your bank account, get like a little fucking kid everything you see that $5 balance. If you have $8k on a credit card, love the shit out of that balance and everything it allowed you to accomplish. While you’re doing this, get into alignment. This will take time! It has taken me some time to learn this myself. Gratitude and focusing on the positive is not something that exactly came easy to me. Even though at some level, I’ve always believed that things ultimately worked out, there was a bit of doubt behind it. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say, I thought if I controlled everything, then it always worked out. A few years ago, something really started to make itself aware in my patterns. I realized that even though I had a really amazing life, I was constantly focusing on what was “wrong” or missing. Some of the things I pined for were a job I loved, a healthy relationship, more money so I could leave the job I hated. In hindsight, it really was kinda ridiculous. I wanted more freedom and joy, but I thought those things would only come if I had these external things. The prosperity has to come from within first! Then the Universe aligns the energy to bring them to us in the physical. Again, this is a process. Be gentle with yourself as you make this shift. Also, I would love to support you! I am kicking off my first round of Manifestation Magic, and 8-week portal to more abundance (emotional, spiritual, monetary, etc.). Allow yourself to release the old shit that is holding you back in life and get real fucking clear on what it is that you want. Coming alignment this way, will make you a master manifestor 😊. I love y’all, keep on keepin’ on! Robin Wilt @spiritualcfo

Wondering what to share with y’all about my Ayahuasca experience, if left to my brain, can leave me feeling like there is not enough time, words or expressions to even try to explain to you the beauty and challenge that mother Ayahuasca was for me. So, I am trusting spirit to transmute to you exactly what you need to feel and read from these words. When thinking about going into this experience, we need to have reverence, respect and gratitude for this gift of mother Ayahuasca. It was the most difficult thing I have ever done. But it is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. This contrast is because I really got to feel, experience and embody the beauty that is also in the pain of this gift we call life. First, people told me that Ayahuasca would not be what I expected. The reason for this is that she is an intuitive natural medicine that gives each one of us exactly what we need. Because we are wired to have a shadow aspect of ourselves, much of the time, we cannot see what is actually holding us back in life. And we should be grateful for this. In truth, if we saw all of our stuff at once, we wouldn’t be able to handle it. It would cause a system overload to our nervous system and psyche. Healing is set at the pace of the divine and not anything our human ego should try to impose on ourselves or anyone else. She gave me what I asked for and so much more. During my three-day ceremony, I got to experience mother Ayahuasca twice. The first ceremony she was super gentle with me. Which is funny because my ego was being a butthead yelling, “really, is that all you got?!” While my scared inner little girl was like, “can you just please shut up, so she doesn’t turn this shit up even more!?” We all have these pieces and parts within our system, protective dynamics that try to keep us safe. The biggest theme that came up in this ceremony was that I am CONSTANTLY feeling like I’m not doing enough, doing it right or that something is wrong with me. I felt like I was weak because for most of the ceremony all I could do was lay back and be in a receptive mode and posture. I could feel the energy moving inside of me, so I knew something was happening, but my ego said I should be doing more. This ceremony was allowing me to shed the old ego construct of “not doing or being enough” in a gentle way. She wanted me to know that I am enough, even if all I’m doing is receiving. I kept talking to my little inner child, telling her how great she was doing. I kept telling her there is more than one ‘right’ way to do everything. So, mother Ayahuasca in her infinite wisdom, chose to come at my ego from the backside. She knew if she tried to come in, guns blazing, my shields would come up and I would go into defense mode. If she came in gently, I couldn’t really fight with her all that much. Throughout the weekend, my mentor kept showing me physically how my energy was presenting itself. She went into a sort of rigid body stance, erect spine with her head jutted forward, jaw clenched and head leading the way. That didn’t make super-duper sense to me until now. So, let me go back for a moment to explain a bit. As a child there were main two components of me that were formed. 1) The super sensitive part of me who was an empath and felt EVERYTHING soooooo deeply. I also didn’t know what an empath was or how to deal with it, so for a number of years I shut it off. Expressing feelings my household was not something that was allowed. It’s almost like my dad wanted 6 little soldiers. Lol. He was a former Marine, and raised in a different time, so I think he thought controlling us was the best thing he could do for us. And control has to be all encompassing – mind, body, emotions and spirit. So, even though I was really prohibited at expressing things outwardly, other than anger, on the inside, all the emotions, and energy was flowing to me, through me and around me. I just didn’t have the ability to know that there was nothing wrong with how I was wired. For years, inside of me, every word, every thought, every gesture was being analyzed by me at every moment. My nervous system was on high alert, always on guard. 2) The super brain part of me. This part is funny to me because I used to really struggle in school. The noises, the other kids, the stimuli, all of it was so much that I could barely understand a lot of what was going on. I wanted my parents to help me with my homework but instead they would let my older sister “help” me, which wasn’t much help at all. She would just want to do it for me. It just confirmed internally my belief that I was just plain old stupid, and I couldn’t figure it out, even if someone was helping me one on one. I remember being tested for different learning disabilities, but they never found anything. In hindsight, I’m also really thankful that they never diagnosed me with ADD. Because I definitely exhibited strong symptoms of it. Anyway, at some point I got much better at school and coping and started to do really well in school. This pleased my parents, especially my dad. My dad was there physically but not really emotionally since he was struggling with his own shit and had a drinking problem. But this wounded part of me thought, if I can just be good enough, smart enough, he’ll stop drinking and he’ll really be there with us. So, every time I achieved or did something “good” I was rewarded with a small glimpse of the love I wanted, but it was never enough. But what this did was to reinforce this belief and pattern – my feminine, intuitive, feeling side is not valued or allowed, and it is too much. To be safe, I have to stuff it down and ignore it. The only way you can get love and be seen is to achieve and do well, be as perfect and good as you can. These parts of me had almost become separated energies within my system. Internally, I still felt all the things and had all the struggles, but to the world I presented this super capable, over-achiever vibe and never really let most people in. The other large component that came through was my previous inability to ask for or receive help. See, in the stuff I explained above, I told myself, “If you have to ask for help, you’re not doing enough.” I was constantly setting myself up for failure and not even knowing I was doing so. I was like this task master, constantly whipping myself to do more, and be more. And I had to do it alone for it to count. I began to see that much of how we grow is actually facilitated by others. There is beauty and power in numbers. When we learn how to recognize our needs, use or voice to ask for them, and then allow ourselves to receive, we embody the truth of this experience. What better way to break this from my body, mind and spirt than to have me lay still for 6 hours or so and just be exactly where I was – a terrified little girl who wanted to be seen for who she really is, not what she is doing. I also had the opportunity in ceremony to use my voice and ask for what I wanted and needed to feel comfortable – both from spirit and also from my sisters in ceremony. While I was integrating ceremony one, my mentor shared with me what would be beneficial to do for ceremony two. She suggested that I consciously ask Spirit to help me release my wound and to come home into myself. I was down for it, and oh so ready to release all this shit in my system. As number two kicked off, I quickly realized how different this second experience would be. As I moved through and felt the old wounds, it’s like I was on a roller coaster ride in the universal energy that was shifting me through different things I needed to see, heal and embody. The second ceremony brought a deeper level of understanding around my core wounding, around my parent’s struggles and the wounding that was passed down through our family line. There is a lot more to my own personal healing in these ceremonies, but I would like to keep those to myself. There are some key universal themes that came up that I would like to share with you below: 1) The body as being dirty or a burden. For all of my life I have felt some kinda way about my body. I have dishonored it, hated it, wanted it to be or feel different. I really had zero connection to it for many years. During ceremony I realized just how amazing our bodies are. Spirit showed me how sacred and beautiful these vessels are. Like, we couldn’t experience the absolute beauty of this life without these pieces of spiritual technology. We couldn’t heal and grow and learn without these vessels carrying our souls around. I also began to see very clearly why the collective has this dynamic with our bodies. Much of it is from the Piscean age where the body was made to be this lower, base human instinct that kept us from spirit. Perhaps during that time period, things were out of alignment and to correct, we went to the opposite spectrum for a bit. However, much of the spiritual work that we are doing as a collective during these times, is meant to bring us back to the beauty and sanctity of these vessels. Not idolizing, nor shaming, but back into greater balance. 2) I saw how much I was valuing myself based on external indicators of the matrix. Even though I had done a lot of work around it, there was still this really deep-seeded belief that I was only worthy if I made a certain amount of money, drove a certain car, and did a certain level in my business. During my ceremony, my mantra that kept me in alignment was “I am a child of God”. So, I knew that if anything wasn’t in alignment with this, it wasn’t real. For me, being a child of God means – I am loved and valuable no matter what I have or do or create. God loves me just as I am. There is no good or bad, there is only experience. I saw and released the deep attachment to needing to prove myself externally. That little piece of paper, or the number on the screen in my bank account has NOTHING to do with how special I am (or anyone else is). Our worth is infinite, never ending and beyond the ability to quantify with a number. Mother Ayahuasca said to me, “Silly girl, no number could ever quantify your worth, you are everything”. I’d say that about sums it up 😊 There is nothing wrong with wanting nice things or traveling or whatever, but the moment you lock yourself into the “more is better” crap, it’s a fucked-up space to be and there will never be enough to get you out of it. 3) In the spiritual community there is this belief that if we do good enough, we won’t have to come back to Earth. I didn’t really resonate with that but perhaps the way my victim was still showing up was in my ‘poor pitiful me’ mindset around healing. What spirit showed me is how much of a blessing and a choice this life is. At a soul level, we are honored and CHOOSE to come down to planet Earth. Because it is a choice. What also goes along with this is what an absolute honor it is to heal a certain aspect of wounding for the collective. It is not a burden, or a story meant to place us in victim mode. We are supported and guided and loved as we offer this healing back to the collective. As you heal, I heal. As I heal, you heal. Put down the martyr badge 😊 4) Finally, spirit showed me what an absolute beautiful tapestry is weaved with the specific people in our lives. This is something I understood on a broad, intellectual level. I have read Journey of Souls (which I would highly recommend if you are struggling with the people in your life) which helped me on so many levels. But there was this piece that I was still missing. On some level, the codependent or healer part of me thought that people needed to be fixed or slightly different for me to fully love them. Please remember, no one or anything needs to be fixed. Of course, there is always choice and if someone doesn’t feel good in your life, by all means, extricate yourself. But perhaps be a little curious first. Ask – why if this person in my life? What am I learning from them? You might be surprised if you stay in your heart and out of your ego. As I said earlier, there is so much more, but I would like to keep those nuggets close to my heart. What I would tell you, is remembering what a gift this life is, can be a powerful way to move throughout your experience. Yes, life is challenging and a giant pain in the ass sometimes, but as much as you can come back to the beauty, it will change your life. Spirit is always there with you. Sometimes we don’t see, hear or feel the energy. We can get wrapped up in our human story. But take a moment and connect in any way that you can. Connect often. Get out into nature. Play, have fun. Remember this life is way shorter than we realize. And yes, we have the opportunity to come back but this unique expression of you is a once in a lifetime vibration. This Robin at this moment will never again exist. The same goes for you! So, embrace all of who you are. Embrace all of who you are becoming and have fun damnit! Loves y’all. Robin

For whatever reason, so many of us have been taught to ignore our small still internal voice. That voice that doesn’t make logical sense a lot of the time. That gut feeling or intuition about a person, place or thing. The voice, that if left unheard, has us regretting our decisions. Instead, we look to others for outside validation and confirmation about our lives and where we are headed. We will ask 10 people in our lives, “what would you do in this situation”, “what do you think I should do”? We all have our own unique imprint and story, so in asking others for guidance (while ignoring our own), we give our power away of free will and choice. The year and the months leading up to my Ayahuasca journey has shown me so much about why this is a ridiculous way to live. Each and every one of use has a unique design of our energy and our life that others are likely to not understand. For instance, there were those who probably thought I was crazy for leaving my cushy corporate job in search of my own success. I knew the choice was coming and I wanted it so badly, but I was also afraid of what others would think. I was afraid that I might fail or that even worse, that I might succeed beyond my wildest dreams. We may not realize it, but people get used to us being the people we are. When we start to change and grow, they still want us to be the sister we were growing up or the daughter from 10 years ago. Friends may feel weird when we are not drinking around them anymore. It’s not that they don’t want the best for us, it’s just that there has been a reality, a fabric of energy that has been pulsing for a bit. We have been in one realm of possibility until our growth has taken us to the next. When we change it doesn’t mean that we are going to leave everyone behind, but it can feel like abandonment to others when our energy starts to shift. On one level, they could want the best for us, but on the subconscious level, it could really cause some resistance as we are shifting. Every time you step up and do the spiritual work for yourself, you are leaving an old vibration behind and stepping into a new one. This is referred to “jumping timelines” in the spiritual community. Because of the lower vibrational energy that you have shifted out of your mind, body and energy, you are ready to level up and move into a new timeline. This new timeline is a higher vibration. This can feel scary, like you have no net to land on. I personally liken it to a fart flapping in the wind. Proverbially, something just doesn’t smell right, it doesn’t seem or feel logical enough, so we start to judge and panic a bit. But if we can calm our nervous system and stay centered through nature, breathwork, mediation, energy work, etc., we will find ourselves excited about the new possibilities that are on the other side of this quantum leap. What we are doing by releasing these energies that no longer serve us, is raising our vibration to a new timeline where we are in energetic resonance to magnetize our dreams to us. We release old beliefs that tell us we are not good enough. We release old patterns that cause us to sabotage ourselves when opportunities do come up. We are still the same people – we just love and value ourselves a bit more. We remove our energy from karmic entanglements that have held us back for so long. I know all of these things can be triggering and scary, but haven’t you lived in fear, lack and doubt for long enough? Isn’t it time to take you power back and have the life that you have REALLY always wanted? The life that seems like a far-off fairy tale. The life that you secretly dream about is waiting for you. You just have to remove all the shit that doesn’t align with that life. Simple, not easy. I promise you, being on your spiritual journey is one of the most gratifying things you will ever do. The truth is that you are already on it, even if you’re not doing the “work”. But when you’re not actively doing the work, you feel trapped, anxious, fearful. If this message resonates with you, repeat this out loud, “God/Universe/Spirit please help me to regain my personal power. Please help me to shed everything that is not in alignment with my highest and best”. I guarantee you, the universe will move mountains to assist you. Just keep listening to that still, small voice. Keep trusting that there is a higher power that loves you. It doesn’t matter what you call it. Believe it is there and it is watching over you, trying to trigger that old shit that just doesn’t serve you anymore. You can do it. Love ya! Robin Wilt If you wanna chat, schedule a free application for coaching. I would love to assist you as you grow and expand. And if you have been asking for help, this is likely your sign 😊

Well, I had no idea when I committed to this upcoming Ayahuasca ceremony that the vibration and healing of the vine would come in way before the physical ingestion of the substance. Here I am, two weeks out from ceremony time, and I’m already feeling it. If I said I had it all figured out at this point, I would be lying. But one of the ways I process life and make sense of things is through writing. So, please allow me to share with you as I continue to uncover this journey. My intention with this post is to gain greater clarity around my journey and to perhaps assist you in your own healing. Because categories make sense to me, here are my top areas of growth and healing that are coming up right now - Safety and Support - About a year ago, I quit my corporate job to pursue my passions. As a single woman who had identified much of her identity and self-worth with her accomplishments in her career, this was very triggering on lots of fun levels. I found myself feeling unsafe, unsupported and in general, floating around like a fart in the wind. So, I did what I’ve tried to do my entire life – I tried to control what was happening or not happening. I tried working little piddly jobs that felt like prisons to me. I tried house sitting and a few other things, but it just boiled down to the realization that my mind, body and soul needed this year long break to reset my nervous system. As much as I wanted a break, I also felt super guilty about taking it. At times, I was so tired that I was starting to wonder if I would ever have the energy to get back to work. During this past year, I cashed out my stock market earnings, murdered my savings and obliterated my retirement accounts. As I stand here today, I am almost near the end of my liquid assets. I just keep thinking; oh, this will turn around in a bit and it will all make sense, and my business will pick up and/or I’ll get an aligned job offer that will save the day. It partially feels like manifesting and trust and the other part feels like complete and utter irresponsibility. So, I am finding myself in full trust and faith that the universe is taking care of my ass 😊Not an easy task for someone of my prior level of control enthusiast. Mom healing – My entire life I’ve had a complex relationship with my mom. As a child I put her on a pedestal and thought that mostly everything was my dad’s fault in life. in some ways, it was easy to do this because my dad played the role of strict disciplinarian who left my mom, myself and my younger sister when I was 16 years old. My mom played the role of over giver who tried to do everything for her family. As I got older, I grew to see and understand that just like me, my parents had multi-faceted personalities that could not be boiled down to these limited understandings. My dad died in 2015, which in part triggered my spiritual journey. For the next few years, I peeled back my relationship him. Around 2017, I began to have some resentment and irritation towards my mom that I was able to work with. Our relationship was improving but still wasn’t what I envisioned a mother and daughter relationship to be. But all in all, I was happy that at least I wasn’t being a snot to her all the time anymore. That started to change a year or so ago. During the last 10 years or so, my mom’s health has been deteriorating. She has diabetes and some other challenging stuff like congestive heart failure. She is only 73 years old but honestly this past year I started to really believe deep down that she would not make it to the end of 2021. There were many things that led me to this conclusion. The largest of them was when I did my first macro mushroom journey in July of 2021. During this session, spirit connected me with her soul. I felt such amounts of grief in that journey, that it felt like I was actually losing her like I would when she passed. I talked with her and made some peace. But I also started to really SEE my mom for the first time in a lot of ways. I began to see her strength and her good heartedness. I began to really see that who she is, has helped me to be the woman I am today. For many years of my life, I just saw the flawed parts of her was worried about becoming those. I hyper focused on the shadow side and didn’t appreciate the strengths of who she is. In this journey, I felt this amazing appreciation for who she is, both as a woman and as a mother. But in real life, I was still moving through some deep ancestral patterns around our relationship. I’ve started to have some challenging but needed conversations with her about my childhood and our relationship. Body and confidence – My body. Ohhhh, all the things this topic can bring up for me. I have never felt safe, sexy or secure in my body. I never wanted to be a girl. I never wanted to be seen or appreciated. I would have preferred to stay well and hidden. And I did for most of my life. I had zero self-confidence and didn’t value anything about me really, other than my ability to work. During my spiritual awakening, this too began to shift. Growing up an empath, I never wanted to BE in my body because that really made me feel all the shit of the world. I had no way of handling the energy overload because I didn’t understand how to ground or to allow others stuff (feelings, thoughts, etc) to flow by me without it getting stuck in my own energetic field. And still worse, is that for many years, because I had no boundaries, I would take on many of these things from the collective and other people and identify it as my own crap. If I’m being honest, this is probably still happening on some level, but I’m getting better at noticing and separating from it. It's hard to love or appreciate something you don’t trust. And I never trusted my body. I was a sickly kid who didn’t really physically do much. I lived in my head and in books for the majority of my childhood. Then into adulthood I was an over worker. I did start working out in my early twenties, but this was quickly smashed a little while into it. I learned something that would drastically affect my life for the next decade. At the ripe old age of 20-something I started to have debilitating pain and was informed I needed a hip replacement. There were so many unknowns about why or how. The doctors think it was something that had formed at a very young age. And perhaps it was triggered from the many car accidents I was in as a teenager, breaking my tailbone in college or the physical activity I started to partake in. But never had my body betrayed me in such a ridiculous way. For about 9 years, I was in excruciating pain. You know, the years that are supposed to be the best of your life? Yea, those years for me were spent in life altering pain. Pain can make you pretty damn jaded about the world. I felt like I had entered some parallel reality where I was being punished for being alive. The reason it took so many years to have the surgery, is because even though dozens of doctors agreed I need the artificial hip, all of them also agreed that I had to wait until I was older. I felt betrayed and abandoned by our medical system. Why did all of these men get to tell me what I could and couldn’t do with my body? At 29, I finally found a doctor at the Mayo clinic in Jacksonville that agreed I shouldn’t be in pain, and I had the surgery. Over time, I started to regain trust and acceptance of my body through yoga and other healing. I started to appreciate my body in a new way. Masculine energy and receiving – I think most of my life I’ve felt really uncomfortable with identifying my needs, asking for them and then allowing myself to receive any help from others. It was just easier to do things on my own. Part of it was the control component but there was so much more to it. Masculine energy is giving and feminine is receiving, and since I didn’t trust masculine energy, I just decided to never need anything. I just wanted to be easy and quiet and unseen and have the least desires possible so I wouldn’t inconvenience anyone. It just made me so damned uncomfortable to accept help from someone without feeling like I needed to do something back for them. I could give and give and achieve and achieve but I really found myself out of energetic alignment. Through different ways and with various life experiences, I have started to accept help and move through this patterning. Dance has really been helping me with this (and so many other things). But, I just love how seemingly unrelated things in our life show us how our energy is operating. When I’m with my dance instructor, I feel myself surrender and relax into his lead but just when thing start to feel uncertain in my body, I pull back again. It’s the same with other masculine energy and also with God. I’m just not sure I trust the Big Guy to really be there when I need him. Even though I want that more than anything. Sexuality – Not gonna lie, this one is a bit challenging to share. For as long as I can remember, I have felt uber awkward around my sexuality. For a long time, I avoided wearing anything too revealing or sexy or moving my body in certain ways that would attract attention. Maybe I had moments where it felt good to be appreciated by a man or masculine energy, but for the most part, a man’s sexual attention scared the ever-loving shit out of me. I especially never wanted a man to see my body as an object of desire. I could never really understand it. It felt like I had been abused or had some kind of sexual trauma. The only thing is that I couldn’t actually remember any trauma. So, I’m still unsure of where that one comes from. Which can make the healing of it that much more confusing. My entire life I have been terrified of a man being close to me, it just felt soooo unsafe in my body. Like, I felt like at any moment he could do whatever he wanted (even if I didn’t want it). Sex wasn’t something that was talked about in my family. I’d say that both of my parents have wounding around sexuality in different way. We never got the birds and the bees convo, and pretty much were told sex was a bad thing. My dad was super strict and told my sisters and I that men only wanted one thing and we shouldn’t trust them. Let me tell ya, having the main man in your life tell you to not trust men and that they only wanted your body was really confusing to the ole brain. So, I avoided dating in high school and college even though I was really in love with love. When I met my ex, I was 20 years old and finally had sex for the first time. I always felt like something was missing there, like I never really trusted him or allowed myself to be vulnerable. Again, I felt the shadow of these sexual wounds but never really had anything to explain them. Just another way I thought I was inherently flawed and fucked up. My relationship with food – I come from a family that loves to eat. When we get together, that’s usually what we do. I mean, my mom is Italian, so it kinda makes sense. But also, we seem to have some ancestral dependency patterns that pop up around substances and food, specifically. My whole life I’ve had disordered eating, even though I didn’t know that’s what it was. I didn’t know where it came from, I just knew all the shitty feelings I had from it. Thank God I never really developed a full-blown eating disorder but there was a moment in my early 20’s when I almost went down the anorexia path but something stopped me, so thanks Universe. But now, even after all my growth, I still find myself knowing the foods that my body doesn’t like, but still unable to be firm in not eating them consistently. I’ve gotten many confirmations from the universe that my body doesn’t like gluten or dairy. This should be easy enough to avoid them in 2022, right?? Ha! Not so much. I have this karmic pattern and loop I go on. I eat some shit that doesn’t agree to my body, I feel like crap and then I’m “good” for a bit. Then I forget and I have the offender again. Then the cycle starts over. There is more there around food, but honestly, I’m not sure I can even go into all of it right now. Ok, phew! thanks for sticking in there! LOL. I know it’s a lot and I’m not really sure how all of these things are tied together but I know there is some thread. Based on what my Ayahuasca facilitator and my soul are telling, me I will know more as this process unfolds. And, as I continue to study and understand my own astrological chart, I’m seeing these wounds in my soul’s blueprint. It’s so helpful to see that I’m meant to heal these wounds this lifetime. It keeps me going and gives me hope. As this thread unravels and I gain more insights I will continue to share with you. If you are currently moving through any of these wounds, I want to remind you to honor yourself. You don’t need to do Ayahuasca or any other plant medicine if you don’t want to. I didn’t want to for a long time either because I was scared as hell and I had judgments about “drugs”. When I got the download to work with any plant medicines, I took my time and asked Spirt to be patient with me as I stepped into them. I would love to hear your experience with Ayahuasca or these types of wounds and how you moved through them in your own life. Submit a contact form on my website or reach out on the Grams (Instagram that is 😊) @ RobinWilt999. Loves y’all, keep on shining on! Much love, Robin

After being on my healing journey for a little while, I found myself using nothing but natural healing remedies. For about 6 years now, (almost completely), I have used essential oils, herbs and other natural methods to heal and improve my health. I haven’t used over the counter or prescription anything (other than numbing medication for a crown and anti-altitude sickness pills for my hike at Machu Picchu). But for some reason, plant medicines still held a bit of stigma for me. Perhaps it is because they are (mostly) illegal, or perhaps it’s more the fear I used to have over substances and their apparent hold on my family lineage. I come from a long line of addiction. Our lineage seems to suffer from addictions of various kinds – alcohol, marijuana, food, relationships, prescription pills, to name a few. The first time the Universe was telling me to look into mushrooms for anxiety, I was not too keen on it. So, I made a sort of a deal with the Universe. I said, okay Universe, if this is really meant for me, you need to make it VERY obvious. A few months later, I found myself at a friend’s house and he straight up offered me some shrooms. I left there in a sort of awe that the universe had answered with such ease and apparent confirmation of my intuitive hit. So, here began my journey with mushrooms for healing that lasted about 3 years. I used them in both micro and macro dosing. I purged, I learned to be more in flow, I surrendered, I healed my anxiety, released trauma, and I found my joy again. All in all, a good day’s work. Also, during this time, I had various intuitive hits around doing Ayahuasca for healing. For various reasons, it just never felt like the right time, the right container or the right integration process for me. I’m grateful that my mentor early on in my journey didn’t really believe in plant medicine for healing. He explained to me that without a healthy integration process, the ceremony wasn’t really worth the time and effort. Additionally, without a strong solid container and integration process, you could actually do more damage than good. So, I trusted that either the timing wasn’t right for me, or that it just wasn’t my medicine. I will place a brief interjection into my own story here. I also tried Kambo and Rape during these years and did not always have such great experiences. I learned two very powerful lessons about substances that you put into your body (especially for healing). 1) Never do something because someone else thinks it will be good for you. You have to communicate with your higher self, your body, and source to determine if something is a fit for you and 2) The intention of the person administering the medicine has to be pure and of high integrity. If they have an intention for you that does not align with your own, the energy is still there in your field. You have to trust the person holding space for you. The energetics created in a healing environment are powerful and you can’t have someone else’s shit or agenda affecting your journey. Ok, back to Ayahuasca 😊 Around the beginning of 2022, I started to have the Aya hit again. Again, in surrender mode, I told the Universe, if you want me to do it, you gotta bring me a space that meets the following criteria – a safe, supportive container, where I can do a ceremony by myself with someone holding space, it has to be in Florida so I can easily get there, and with someone that I feel comfortable with. In February, I ran into a friend who told me about…….guess what?!!! Yeppers, a lady in Florida just a few hours from me that held 1x1 ceremonies. Alright Universe, I guess we’re doing this thing. To be honest, I was still probably fighting this whole thing a little bit. I mean, I HATE throwing up. Like, hate it. Just even the thought of the purge process had me feeling a bit queasy. I figured I was going to continue to stay open to the process, and scheduled a consult call with the practitioner. During the call, I was sharing with her the things I was working on and what I wanted support with. She shared the magic of the medicine and some intuitive hits she was getting about me. Even though my ego was still not on board, my heart knew the answer. I was just crying the whole time and already feeling the power of this magical medicine. I pulled some tarot cards for confirmation, probably just to steady my nerves, but I already knew I was a sacred yes during that brief but powerful call. She recommended that I do some energy work with her first to determine my readiness for the medicine and also to develop a relationship between her and myself. After this first call, During the 4 energy sessions I had with her, I could feel there were profound changes already occurring. I started to see a few of my patterns and the deeper thread that was woven beneath them. 1) The first dynamic was my lack of clarity in life. This seems to be something I have continually struggled with for most of my life at varying degrees. The amount of anxiety and indecision I would feel on a daily basis regarding making decisions was a real problem. It affected my ability to focus and take direction in my own life. During the sessions with her I very clearly began to see just how much other people’s energy was affecting me. During childhood and young adulthood, as a coping strategy I learned to ignore my own energy and to hyper focus on everyone and everything else around me in hopes of quieting the chaotic world that seemed to have its control over me. For many years of my life, my psychic and energetic gifts were overpowering me because I had no way of knowing how to own and manage them. I didn’t know that I would hear other’s thoughts, feel their emotions and pain and then take them on as my own. It was an almost immediate response that left me without a nano second of awareness to see the separation of energy. In the week’s leading up to the ceremony, my facilitator has me doing homework around maintaining my energetic sovereignty and releasing old energy dynamics around personal power. 2) The other dynamic that is coming up for healing in this container is my deeply engrained mistrust of masculine energy and my inability to fully surrender in my feminine energy. I mistrusted my own sexuality, my ability to receive and surrender while also maintaining my own boundaries and power. One of my fears of the medicine is that I will have some blocked memory of sexual abuse that comes up in ceremony. There has been this unidentified wound over the years in therapy and such that I have never really uncovered. Perhaps I just wasn’t ready until now. I guess I’ll know after the ceremony……SURPRISE!!! Or not, who the fuck knows. LOL. 3) The final component of healing that is coming forward is the shitty relationship I have had with my body and food my entire life. As a kid I was the chubby sensitive one. Even though I was in a household of 8 other people, I felt immensely alone. One of my escapes and comforts was food and the added energetic protection it gave me. My sisters were all thinner and more beautiful than me and it seemed like they never let me forget it. Even as I got older and more physically active and started to take care of myself, I still felt internally like I was this huge ugly duckling. I was never really seeing my body or myself clearly. As a by-product of this wound, I have also struggled with eating and maintaining healthy habits regarding my relationship food and my body’s REAL needs. Just when I think I make headway, I seem to slide back in. These three wounds have felt forever connected in my mind, body and soul and I just felt such frustration that I could never FULLY heal them. Perhaps I’m also afraid that even after the ceremony, I won’t be able to move past them. I know that is just my ego talking. The way that Aya has been explained to me, is that the medicine will come in and clear 75-80% of the energy and pattering. The remaining amount will be cleared in the integration process. I know I am only at this point because of all the spiritual work I have done the last 6 years. I still do not believe that Aya or any other plant medicine is a one and done kinda thing. I believe we have a responsibility to ourselves and our family lineage to actually do the deep work that our soul calls for. Aya or any other plant medicine is just a tool to do so. As I’m writing this post, I am in the final stretch before the ceremony. I had my kickoff call yesterday and I am beginning the final preparation for the ceremony, which is a little more than a month from now. I am both excited and nervous. I am hopeful but also fearful that the old karma and family patterns will not loosen their grip. But mostly, I am afraid of stepping into my power, my sexuality and femininity in a way I have never known. I have seen the vibration of what is coming and felt it in my body. This new version of me that is wanting to step forward will no longer hide. She will no longer allow other’s energy to rule her life and dictate who she will be. She feels amazing, and free and like a fucking fire ball ready to explode. And with this energy, my internal little girl feels terrified. She is afraid of being over shadowed and left behind. She is afraid of the wounds being revealed that have long been blocked out to keep her safe. But I also know, this is something I must do. Not only for myself but also for the collective. I am here to remind you that as you heal, so do others. Your strength and perseverance give others the hope and courage to continue onward. Since I know this to be the truth, I will continue to share my journey with you as it unfolds. If you have questions, please feel free to contact me on Instagram or on my website. Thank you so much for sharing this part of my journey with me. Many blessings. Robin Wilt Shed Some Light on It

Shadow work is a term that I have heard thrown around a lot in the spiritual community but I’m not sure we actually get what it means. And to be completely honest, I’m not sure I completely get it either. Perhaps there are lots of different ways to embody and do shadow work. Maybe shadow work has multiple definitions. Likely, we are all figuring it out as we go. Maybe as I heal and shift, my understanding will change. But I am going to share with you what I have learned up to this point in my journey around this particular component of shadow work. So, what is a shadow? A shadow is a part of you that has not been touched by the light. As we heal and grow on our spiritual journey’s we go back and allow ourselves to feel and heal certain wounds that have been festering in our psyche. They are shadows because we don’t really know those parts exist until something bumps up against them (by way of a trigger). Our psyche is mostly driven by our subconscious awareness like a giant iceberg. We don’t see it’s there until it totally knocks us off our feet. Usually triggers occur in an interaction with other people. One of the main reasons we can be hidden in our shadows for many, many moons is because our society is heavily buried in the victim/perpetrator dynamic. And, 150% of the time, we are deeming ourselves as the victim and the other dude is the bad guy. We convince ourselves, If he would only act this way, if she would only talk this way to me, if my dog would stop barking at the neighbors, if my boss would stop being such a dick. And, don’t get me wrong, your boss may very well be a dick, but what do you have control over?????? YOU! And, until you heal the wound, you will just attract someone else in a different meat suit with the same underlying vibration. Your soul wants to heal and have peace. It will do so at any cost. The way you have control over you and your healing, is that you look at the trigger, find the wound, feel the feelings, and reframe the pattern, belief or thought that is causing you the pain. Let’s look at this step by step in an example. 1) Trigger - For many years, I was attracted to men who weren’t emotionally available. The reason I was attracted to them and kept pulling them into my reality is 1) my soul wanted to heal that dynamic and 2) I was also not emotionally available. When I had this realization, it was one of the first shockers of my spiritual healing. It was super hard for me to look at. Me, not emotionally available??? What?! But yes. I covered this up in many ways, even from myself but deep down, this basic wound was attracting men who were on the same emotional wavelength that I was. If I had stayed in the victim/perpetrator story, I would have continued to blame every man I was ever in relation with. As I sent out that bat signal, I brought them into my reality in droves. When I started to get tired of feeling some kinda way about relationships, I really started to look at my own dynamics. Looking at my own patterns, beliefs and wounding, allowed me to see what was really being triggered in these dynamics. 2) Wound – My wound in a broad sense was related to my dad. My dad was physically around most of my life, but he was never there emotionally for me. As an empath, this wounding was deep as shit. In childhood I could have really benefited from a man (or masculine energy) who was able to hold space for me as I felt my emotions. Through my original male relationship, I was conditioned to believe a lot of things about masculine energy, relationships, and feelings. But the beauty is my soul choose this lesson, so it also led me down the path to heal it. 3) Feel – Through various methods, modalities and layers, I was allowed to feel the emotions that had been stuffed down for years around this dynamic. Since my dad modeled an emotional absence, I also learned this and modeled it, not only in my relationships with others, but also in my relationship with myself. There were lots of layers to this wound. Afterall, I had 42 years to perfect it. I began to see where I avoided my emotions like the plague. I didn’t allow others to experience their emotions. I tried to manage, control and direct emotions when they made me feel some kinda way, which was most of the time. But ultimately, I had to stop and FEEL. Ugh, this was not my favorite part y’all. But over time I actually kinda grew to accept and appreciate those pesky little fellas. 4) Reframe – As I stopped blaming my dad, and accepted the perfection of the situation, I was grateful I had my childhood. Because of the household I chose to experience, I learned to support myself emotionally, to not rely on men for my emotional well-being. I grew strength and understanding around the dynamic and have helped my clients to tap into their feelings. Over time, I have learned that my depth of feeling is a gift and not some giant curse that I have been burdened with. I thanked my dad’s soul for providing this lesson to me (as my soul requested). I also did a shit ton of forgiveness towards my dad, those men, me and the Big Guy. Because in my belief system, he represents the biggest masculine energy of all. Additionally, I softened my own internal masculine energy. I began to show up for myself in new and exciting ways. As I did this internally, it began to seep into my external dynamics as well. 5) Love and acceptance – One of the key ingredients to shadow work, is to love the SHIT out of yourself. The other problemo with our shadows, is that they are in deep shame and guilt for even existing. We tell ourselves that if anyone knew about this deep, dark part of me, they would find me unlovable. When you have these parts and pieces of yourself that come up, this quickest way to freedom is to love and accept them. Nothing will change until you stop fighting against them. Your shadow is trying to teach you something. But if you are making it wrong or the bad guy, you’ll never get to see the little hidden gem. Another way that love and acceptance can reach you is through a group healing dynamic. Some of my deepest healing has come simply from allowing my wounds to be seen by others in a safe space. The parts of me that I’ve judged and kept away from the light, like a little girl locked in a closet because she is afraid of the dark. It just makes her more afraid and more scared the longer I keep this wound out of the light. The biggest lesson I have learned in group containers is that we are all fighting the same demons. They might play out differently, but the core wounds are pretty much the same. Right now in my own healing journey, I am really taking a deep look at my shadows. I am currently in an intensive 5-week shadow work training class led by an amazing human Leo Max and 7 other lovely women. And not to scare you or anything, but this shit is hard. Some of the things that are coming up for me are really painful. They are things I have already healed (a ton) but alas, I am going deeper and deeper. Dynamics around how I show up in relationships, issues I’ve had around my body and my appearance, and difficulties and wounding around my psychic gifts. But it is also so rewarding and healing, so I keep moving like the looney toon I am. Ha, I think those of us who choose to do this deep work, have to be a little off our rocker. Because it’s like taking a dive off the side of a cliff without being able to see where you’re headed. You trust it will be beautiful, but your ego is trying to hang on for dear life. I just know for me, I have to keep going. There is this internal force inside of me that keeps pushing me onward. And I trust that internal force more than ever. It still scares me, but I also know how much healing has given me – freedom, love, gratitude, hope and so much more. I hope that you’ll join us on this fun little ride the Universe has for you. Love you 😊 Robin

Pain is an interesting emotion. Not many of us know how to process pain in a healthy way. It can be a powerful motivator for change, but it can also be a reason we get stuck in life. As a motivator, we might find ourselves tired of being in the same energy, the same story over and over again. One day we decide we’ve had enough, and we get mad enough to do something about it. On the other hand, it can also keep us stuck. Why? Largely in part because our society has taught us that pain is bad. It is something to be avoided. But in our avoidance of it, we actually stay in it longer than intended. Pain is usually an indication something is out of alignment, either in our hearts, bodies, or minds. When we avoid feeling it, we don’t allow the energy to show us what is out of alignment and to naturally move through us. Staying in unnecessary pain can also rob us of our joy. To really feel deep joy, we have to allow ourselves to fully feel the pain. In avoiding any one emotion, we never allow any of them, which restricts the flow of the things we say we really want. What i learned growing up - My dad was a huge lesson for what not to do. For many years growing up, I didn’t know just how much pain my dad was in. In hindsight, I can see that his physical pain was just an indicator of his deep emotional pain. He was in a few accidents at a young age and was disabled as far back as I can remember. He was as active as he could be, but I also see where it limited him from a lot of experiences in his life. At some point, he began drinking and never really stopped. I think the alcohol numbed him a bit, helped him to forget his story for a while and be a bit more vulnerable. It was really the only time I ever saw my dad cry, show any emotion or really engage with us kids. When he was sober, it was a lot of discipline, anger and disappointment that showed up. As an empath, I didn’t like it when he was vulnerable after having a few. It felt really unauthentic to me. I felt like I couldn’t believe it because I thought the real him was the sober asshole. In my adult years, life gave me the opportunity to be in physical pain of my own. At the ripe old age of 20 I found out I would require a hip replacement. For about 10 years, I lived in excruciating pain. I learned just how much chronic pain can affect you. I had more compassion for him and what he must as experienced. Not only did he have the actual pain, but also the shame and guilt around not being able to fully provide for his family. I don’t know if my dad ever found anything that made him feel like him other than alcohol. And I believe many of us have a very similar experience. As I grow in my own journey and continue to help others. I see why substances can become such an easy, convenient crutch to rely on. Many of them are socially acceptable, they numb whatever pain you are experiencing, they relax your nervous system to an extent and in some interesting way, they tap you into the truth of who you are. We all have this pure energy that is at the core of who we are. But when pain is ruling our lives, we lose contact with it. For those brief moments of release under the influence of our favorite substance, we can feel that essence for a time. But the substance is only ever going to provide a temporary reprieve which brings along with it so many other issues. So, how do we process pain in a healthy way that also allows us to move on with life? The fastest, easiest way I have found through the pain is to simply go through it. Yep, that right. Experience it, feel it, stop fighting it and allow it to be there. This can sound really scary if you’ve never don’t it before, so I got some tips for ya. 1) Set a time limit – When you are in any lower vibration emotion or feeling, allow yourself to really feel it for a set amount of time. A friend of mine, has a three day limit. Others I know have 2 days. I’m not gonna lie y’all, sometimes because I feel so deeply, I finish mine and then I go into hermit mode and don’t want to come out. Schedule some time with friends at the end of the period. Plan something fun that requires leaving your house and peopling for a bit. 2) Talk to a counselor, therapist or healer to support you through what you are experiencing. Sitting with our emotions can bring up all kinds of other things that we may need some support around. Change is in your hands; you don’t have to live your entire life suffering from the same shit over and over again. 3) Be gentle with yourself. Eat Chinese takeout, take a bath, watch a movie marathon, go for a walk, read a book. In between crying and feeling sorry for yourself, journal about it. Listen to some meditations or healings online. Do some yoga. I think you get the picture. Do whatever you want during that pain period that doesn’t entail harming yourself or someone else. 4) Talk to your inner child. Since many of our pains are actually originated from some core childhood wound, your inner child is probably freaking out a bit during this healing phase. You can do it out loud, in a letter, in your heart. There really is no right or wrong way to do it. But I promise you, any time chatting it up with your inner mini me is going to help you in the immediate circumstance but also in your overall life. If you have a hard time allowing things to come up or you find yourself too much in the logical vibe, do some non-dominate writing. An easy way to start this is to write in your dominant hand at the top of paper, “what do you need right now”. Then allow yourself to write freely with your non-dominant hand. You may be surprised at what comes up and how easy it can be to soothe your inner child. 5) Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or your partner. Then, if none of those feel comfortable to you yet, talk to your pet. Our pets can be super attentive, mindful listeners. Poor your heart out and have no fear that fido will gossip to your sister-in-law about it. They don’t have opposable thumbs, so the phones don’t work so well for them. 6) Move your body to process the energy. This has been a powerful step for me. It can be simple and easy, like a way, some gentle yoga, or more strenuous if you’re feeling it. When you start, set the intention that you are going to release and purge the energy from your body and allow new energy to come it. Allow the tears or anger to come up without judgment. Remind yourself that you’re safe. 7) Pray. Yep, good ole simple prayer to your higher power. We all have different names for it – God, spirit, higher self, universe, Goddess, whatever. Allow it all to come out. Treat God like the best friend you’ve ever had – the one that gets you, cheers you on and gets you back on track. 8) When you find yourself nearing the end of your pain period, start to clean up your space. You have just purged a lot of energy. Get rid of a few things you don’t need anymore, wash your sheets, clean the house. And when you’re done with that, sage and clear the energy. Open the windows and the doors and let some fresh air up in there. 9) Finally, be gentle with yourself the next few days. As you continue to integrate and process, you may have some additional revelations about some things. There is never a clear-cut ending to healing. You will most likely do some additional work around the same topic at some point down the road. But as you continue to allow what is real for you, it will get easier and easier to move through it. Notice with each pain period, how they get shorter, and perhaps a bit easier to process. These are just a few ways that I have found to process and move through my own pain. I’m sure there are lots of other ways, and I would love to hear your unique style. HMU on Instagram @ RobinWilt999. Remember, it’s never forever. As soon as you can stop resisting the pain and start allowing it as your teacher, everything will shift in such beautiful ways. You’re doing great and I love you! Robin.

If anyone had told me I would be where I am right now in life, I would have laughed in their face. I mean, it’s not a bad place, it’s just not where I expected myself to end up. So, we have to go back a little bit for you to understand what I mean. To give you some perspective, I once had someone tell me I popped out of the womb responsible. It was actually something I very deeply prided myself on. I grew up in home that possessed an odd combination of chaos and structure. As the fifth child of six, I found the way I shined my brightest was to try to be as “perfect” as I possibly could. This entailed overachieving in school, work and home. Since my family had enough chaos, I wanted to be as quiet and invisible as possible while also doing everything I could to please my parents. I did the American dream stuff – A/B honor roll, dual enrollment courses, graduated early. And I actually got pretty lucky and guessed at my education and career choice. At a complete whim, I decided I would go to college and major in Business Administration. Although I absolutely hated Accounting in school, I loved the practical application of this magical science. This love of numbers and finance progressed me through various jobs and careers, finally landing me at a software company in my dream job. It was what I said I always wanted – working from home, no dress code, flexibility, and a salary of $100k a year. There was just one huge honking problem – I HATED IT. How could I hate the very job I had manifested for myself? For the most part, it was the cushiest thing I had ever experienced at a job. For the four years I was there, most of my bosses were pretty cool, allowing me to work independently, the work was fairly easy, I had flexibility, shit – I could even work from my bed in my pj’s if I was having a shitty day. Oh! And, they implemented unlimited days off a few years into the gig. But it was absolutely sucking my soul dry. Why? Well, right when I started the job, my spiritual awakening was kicking off. Good ole dark night of the soul kind of shit. Which was super amazing that I could work from home and not have people all up in my physical space as I was purging and growing. I was allowed to work and get my stuff done without a boss nagging me or dumping more shit on me. But part of the healing process is that you start to wake up to your real purpose on this Earth. For me, I started to learn how to do energy work, read tarot, I studied astrology and became a life coach. I learned, I grew, and I completely transformed. I even went back and got my MBA during this time period (it’s hard to kill the overachiever in me 😊). As a complete shocker to me, I started my own business. Which was pretty damned funny because I used to marvel at entrepreneurs and think how I could never do that. I thought I was a steady paycheck kind of gal. I wanted to leave hard core for about a year but if I’m honest, I don’t really ever think I felt great there. So much of my insecurity was being kicked up and I thought I was a complete idiot because I just couldn’t be engaged as hard as I tried. Here I was around all of these geeky tech types, I missed being around my finance world where I felt a level of comfort. It got pretty obvious March of this year that I wouldn’t be there much longer. My anxiety and pure lack of drive to do anything more than my base job got pretty strong. Then I felt really bad about it and would beat myself up over it. The pimple was def getting ready to pop. My big plan was to create a huge savings account and build up my business enough that I could safely make the transition at my ego’s discretion. The challenge is that my soul was like, “get me the fuck outta here and now!!”. So, I prayed about it, like every day for a few months. Finally, I felt like it was time. There was a project at work that our team would be spearheading, and I just realized I could not do it anymore. I couldn’t do the project or the corporate goals or the faking it anymore. After much processing, I decided to leave in June of this year. Y’all, I ain’t gonna lie – that shit was hard as fuck. Not only was I giving up my main source of income, but I was also giving up part of my identity. See, I didn’t know how much of me I had identified with being the successful corporate girl. Here I am 6 months after taking the big leap. Business is booming, I’m making $200K a year, I’m happy satisfied, calm and relaxed. BAHHHHHH, not so much. See, the little overly optimistic part of me expected this to be my reality. Afterall, the universe wanted me to leave and do my dream work, right? And surely 6 months is long enough to grow a thriving biz. I was helping others and I was doing the bidding of the light!!!! It had to work out. And it is, just not in my way. I’m thankful that business is growing but it is in no way replacing the income I lost from leaving the corporate gig. Since I left the corporate grind, I’ve tried a few things. I cashed out some stocks, took some time off, got a PT job, and did some house sitting. Then, I realized I had completely swung myself from one side of the pendulum to the other side. The PT gig, housesitting and my stuff wasn’t enough to cover my bills. So, I decided to stop and reevaluate again. I cashed out some more retirement accounts, even though that was scary as hell. But I’m surrendering and trusting in ways I never thought possible. Part of me thinks about getting another job and the other part of me is screaming that I will do no such thing. We’ll see which part of me wins out 😊 So, you may be asking, “was it all worth it?”. The answer is yes. But I am not going to sugar coat it for you either, this shit is hard y’all. I’ve worked through a lot of the fear and anxiety around it but some days I can go down the rabbit hole and see myself living on the streets. In this drastic reality, I’ve lost everything, my car, my house, my self-respect and my status. I’m not valuable or worthy anymore because I don’t have all these things that society says make me valuable. And also, what I valued myself at for a long time. I used to think so much of my worth came from achieving, but I’m learning that this is a giant lie fed to us by the machine. But honestly, the biggest motivator for me to make the shift is that I couldn’t see myself at 80 years old, thinking “what if”. I decided I would rather fail doing what I love than to never really try at all. I know many of you are currently going through this awakening. Your soul is waking up and wants to be heard, damnit! You soul’s purpose is struggling and striving to be expressed. Your gifts are coming online, and you want to be of service. These are things I really love helping my clients with. It’s kinda funny right, the things we live through and grow from, we end up helping others with. I can share with you how I’ve moved through different blockages and restraints. I can share with you how you can do the same in your life. Either way, if you work with me or someone else, I want you to know – you’re not alone, you will be provided for, the Universe will support and guide you. I appreciate you being here with me. Best of luck finding your soul’s work. You’ll know when you do. Love and light and all that shit, Robin

This post may not make some of you happy. Thank God that is not my job 😊. One lesson I had to learn in a rather difficult manner is that if I didn’t like the way I was being treated by a man, I alone had the power to change that fact (or perception, as it may be). See, energetically, we can only attract someone who will treat us in a way that matches our own value of ourselves. If I don’t love myself and I’m constantly talking down to me, then I will attract a man who will do the same. If I value myself, set boundaries and care about my own needs, I will energetically draw a man to me who does the same. The unfortunate fact is that as women, we really have a skewed understanding of how powerful we are. Especially in the area of relationships. If we just look at masculine and feminine energy in a very basic way, masculine energy does, and feminine energy is. Feminine energy receives information from the Universe, and masculine energy takes that insight and creates the thing. In tarot, we can look at the Empress and Emperor energy. She is fertile and bountiful, receiving from the Universe. He is strong, steady and creates. But he does so based on her insights. Since every single person has both sides of this duality, we can see this spiritual law take place in our own lives. We get an insight when we are in the receiving mode, then our masculine aspect creates the thing. If we take this general understanding and look at a relationship, the woman sets the tone and drives the relationship bus. Not at all what most of us have been led to believe. When the woman stands in her power and value, the man follows. Again, this is a gross generalization for understanding purposes. But yes, it also applies if you are in the LBGTQ community. Whoever has the most feminine energy will set the stage, and the masculine energy will follow along. The reason many women or people in their feminine energy can feel like they are at the whim of masculine energy is because we don't value ourselves, and then we don’t set boundaries. Here’s an example for ya – If you know that sleeping with someone early on isn’t great for you, but you do it anyway for fear of driving a person away, you aren’t valuing your needs. The man thinks everything is fine, but deep down, you know you didn’t honor your needs and boundaries. After a while, resentments and understandings start to build. I’m sure if you try, you can find other examples in your life. If it’s hard for you to see your own shit, look at someone else’s struggle with boundaries. This dynamic can and does play out in so many aspects of our lives. It’s fairly easy to set boundaries with people you don’t like or know very well, right? But the stakes get higher when you have to say no to someone you really like. For those of us who are energetically sensitive, this can be even more challenging. If we say no, we can tell how much the other person is affected, even if they don’t say a word. Over time, we begin to ignore our own needs to fulfill those needs of our loved ones. The other reason this is a thing is because in our society we value the victim or underdog. We villainize people who don’t treat us well. Since the Universe is all loving and wants us to be healed, it will send us those people who will treat us some kinda way. This is not to punish us, but instead to force us to get to a point where we are so fed up with the same old shit, that we eventually stand up for ourselves. BUT!! Then we can no longer be the victim. We can’t say, “oh it was all their fault. If they weren’t such a horrible SOB, they wouldn’t have treated me like this”. I totally get it, sometimes it’s not so easy to see our part in the stories we have created for ourselves. Which brings me to one of the most powerful boundaries you can set for yourself – not engaging with the person at all. If someone really is unable to treat us the way we desire and deserve, why would we allow them to be in our lives? No matter what position they hold. Many times, the people closest to us are the ones who will trigger us in the biggest way. This is by design. Sometimes the U will push us so hard so that we can see objectively, this doesn’t feel good, I’m not going to engage. As you start to create healthy boundaries for yourself, start small and know that it’s a process. There is no right or wrong or some general rule about boundaries because they are individual to each and every one of us. Ya'll know I'm not gonna leave you hangin'. Here are some helpful tips about how you can start to value yourself and also to set healthy boundaries. How to value yourself In word – Speak kindly to yourself. What thoughts or beliefs are you saying over and over again in your little head? Do you beat yourself up over perceived screwups? Do you call yourself fat and stupid? Notice those patterns, then work on changing them. If you don’t know how, ask the Universe for help. When we acknowledge we want to work on something, the Universe will deliver the person that can help us. Pay attention to signs and opportunities. In acts – Do you take care of yourself with the basics? Shower, shave, throw out clothes that don’t fit you anymore or things that don’t feel good? Do you take yourself out? Do you rest when you’re tired? Again, start small. Five minutes of self-reflection everyday can show you where you might be neglecting yourself. Balance is key; we need play, fun, work and rest. How to set boundaries Start small – If you’re not comfortable setting boundaries, start to find small areas of your life you can switch up. Shut your phone off at night. Tell you mom you can’t talk on the phone past 8pm. Or if you can’t verbalize that to her yet, just don’t take calls after 8pm. Make it simple and easy. Be gentle with yourself as you make these changes. Shitty boundaries didn’t develop overnight, so they probably won’t go away overnight either. Practice – Find fun ways to practice. Team up with a buddy and practice saying no to each other. Write down your needs and say them out loud to yourself or your friend. Practice makes perfect. The more you do the thing, the easier it gets. Keep it fun and light – Don’t make such a big deal out of it. I know sometimes this is easier said than done, but that’s why you take baby steps. Make the boundary funny or silly. Like, I have to log off my computer at 8pm because my dog requires me to sit next to her while she licks her peanut. LOL. Life is only as serious as we make it. And really, it’s not that damn serious. Hit up your girl Robin if you need some one-on-one love –. When we find spiritual healers that can help us with certain things, it’s only because they have also been through the same or similar experience and can provide insights and suggestions on how to improve. Also, in energy work, I provide that vibration to you. Since I worked through the same thing, when we connect in a session, I am able to help you release those blockages holding you back. So, if it feels aligned, schedule a session with me and we can do some witchy hippie stuff to work through and process your gumby boundaries. Please be gentle with yourself. This is a life-long process on various levels. For sure, I know how challenging this can be. I also has the fun abandonment stuff weaved into my psyche so I was afraid that anytime I told someone no, they would leave me or abandon me. It was really painful for me to say no for a while, but it has gotten so much easier. You start to see how people actually really like boundaries and will respect you more. I love you and you’re killing it!!!!!!!!!! Robin

Almost my entire life, I felt like I was some kind of sexual weirdo. No matter how much I thought I wanted to, I just couldn’t do casual like other people. The few times I did step outside of my comfort zone and do the hookup scene, I would catch feelings and then feel even more of a weirdo. Like, what is wrong with me that I can’t just have sex with someone and not have it be a thing? I would start to envision the “relationship” going somewhere it was never going to go, with men who just weren’t emotionally available. Such assholes, right…..It was all their fault, right? Wrongsies. Healing this aspect of my wounding has been interesting. Even more so when I started to see that if I was attracting and allowing men into my life that weren’t emotionally available, that also meant I wasn’t emotionally available on some level. Say what, HUH???? Yea, me the queen of empath, feeling everything, was not emotionally available in a romantic entanglement. It was like this self-fulfilling prophecy, I opened myself up to a man, he wasn’t able to give me what I needed and wanted in a relationship and I was proved right. See, it’s all his fault. He doesn’t know how to let love in, to be emotionally present. I am being open and sharing and caring and HE isn’t able to. What a jerkoff! To understand this, let’s go back to my childhood, shall we? My dad was physically present most of my life. But he was emotionally unavailable if there was ever a poster child for it. I just wanted him to see me. To pay attention to me. I needed that energy, his focus. The only times I really saw it were when he was drinking, when I was achieving and doing what he approved of, or when I was in trouble. I just wanted him to see me for me. To really see me, you know. To just accept and appreciate me exactly as I was. Like, to sit with me while I was doing something. Or to listen to me when I was feeling some kinda way. I just wanted his presence. After this modeling of male behavior and intimacy, of course I would continue this pattern into male romantic relationships. I would want a man to see me, but I was also terrified of it. My psyche associated being seen with either being in trouble or accomplishing something and being “good”. But we all just want to be seen and loved for who we are, not for what we are doing or not doing. I would come to learn during my healing, that nothing was wrong with me. Because of how women’s brains are wired, we develop feelings and attachments with men much more easily once we’ve had that physical engagement. Men are more physical beings and can have sex without it being a thing. Remember, from an evolutionary lens, men are wired to procreate, to spread their seed. If they were emotionally connected to every woman they had sex with, it just wouldn’t work. Of course, we have all evolved in many ways, but it’s also helpful for me to remember. Men aren’t assholes or dogs; they are just wired in a different way. And also, more importantly, the way I’m wired requires an emotional connection for me to truly open up sexually. The issues in my particular situation is that I judged my caring. I judged my inability to simply connect on a physical level without the emotional aspect. But I was also TERRIFED of opening myself up to someone in that way. If someone breaks your heart and it was only superficial, it might hurt but not as deeply as it will when you’ve barred your soul to them, right? It isn’t the fact that emotionally available men were attracted to me that was the issue, I was the part of me that was attracted to them. The very thing I wanted so deeply; I was also utterly terrified of. My brain warned, it’s safer to stay at arm’s length with a man. Don’t open up too much, don’t really share who you are. Overcoming this pattern has been a process for sure. Instead of ignoring how I’m feeling, I acknowledge when men aren’t available. I don’t judge it anymore but I can also send them on their way much quicker than I used to. I can see the old pattern wanting to play out but with my conscious awareness, I am able to move past it quicker, without as much damage as before. I am able to see what I want and need from a partner in a much more compassionate way. And the quicker I release the ones that aren’t for me, the quicker my dude can come in. So, come on down my emotionally available hot ass divine partner. I’m ready for ya…..emotional vulnerability and all. And, until then, I’ll take care of my own needs, thank you very much 😊 And for those of you out there who “suffer” from the same affliction, give yourself permission to be who you are. I’m here to let you know, there is nothing wrong with you if you can’t or don’t want to do casual. Honor your sensitivity and your feelings. You are a magical fucking unicorn. Love ya’ll Robin